A man with a bizarre fetish for playground equipment has been banned from any public place that has a slide in his Coventry, England neighborhood.
Apparently, 46-year-old Christopher Johnson was caught simulating sex acts with one slide in particular on several occasions.
I know. I'm as horrified as you are right now.
After pleading guilty to public indecency, Johnson was given a three-year criminal behavior order, 18 months of sex offender treatment, and required rehabilitation. He was also banned from attending any local venue with a slide, including parks, recreational centers, public pools, and sporting grounds.
I probably also would've banned him from doing the 'Cha Cha Slide'. But hey, not my tax dollars.
Johnson was also fined £55 (~$85 USD), a £60 victim surcharge (~$93 USD), a £85 damage cost (~$132 USD), and £180 in court costs (~$279 USD), making the slide - all in all - a very expensive booty call indeed.
(Sorry, I had to.)
This wasn't actually the first time Johnson was arrested for such an act. Back in July 2014, he was caught doing the same thing at another park the next town over.
So if you had any questions about it, no, it seems he's not the monogamous type. But let's hope he's learned his lesson this time around, yeah?