The Moment You Stopped Running

You've spent your whole life in motion. You hated [and still hate] the idea of staying still. You hate going to the doctor not because of learning what might be wrong with you but you sincerely hate sitting in the waiting room.

Because of this, you spent your whole life doing things that made you remember what it was like to move. To be in a constant vibration. Before you started skateboarding, you rode bikes, and after you reached the proper driving age, you went way above the speed limit.

This translated into your relationships as well. You never stayed in one place. Or faithful. You needed to experience everything, or at least that's what you told yourself. So, to put it bluntly, you were the worst partner. You never thought you'd find someone that you would want to stay next to. Someone you'd stop running for.

And when you woke up one morning, seeing the same person next to you. Breathing shallow, that shallow type of breathing reserved for complete satisfaction in where you are or pretending you're dead on screen, you freaked out and went for a walk.

You looked at everything around you. The sun, the way the leaves were starting to change, and the coffee shop owners, still asleep, unlocking doors and turning on lights. The smell of fresh coffee entered your nose so you bought some. You bought two cups.

Your mind was uncertain, but your body decided. You were going to walk back to the apartment. Back to your person. And yes, this was your person. Your body knew it but your mind needed some time to catch up. You weren't hung over or groggy, you slept well. You just never thought that you'd find someone so... perfect for you.

You lit a cigarette and for the first time in your life, you found the nicotine and tar disgusting. You put it out and wanted to quit. Not because of anything health related. But because you wanted to be around a long time for your person.

Everything in your head told you to run. To flee. Flee because you're afraid of your own feelings. But your body told you not to. It said to stop. To quit running for once. Because you have someone you're willing to run to instead of run from. You smirked to yourself as you fumbled with the key to your front door. When you entered the bedroom you told your person that you just went to get coffee.

And you smiled to yourself, again, knowing that if you ever tried to run. They'd be right behind you.

i did all that i could.
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