Coffeeshop Pretension

Chalk to blackboard menu

Showing off the days pretensions.

Setting customers up stumbling

Over convoluted names.

To the growing satisfaction

Of the flannel-clad baristas;

Softly fingering their beards

While making known what is

“correct”.

And how the way they grind their beans

Is technique learned while touring Spain.

How the way they boil water

Comes from ancient Mayan lore.

How their coffee is in fact

The only coffee worth the drinking.

How their coffee is in fact

The only coffee one can taste.

So the boasting goes unceasing

As the tip jar

overflows.

While they’re handing over drinks

That taste the same as all the rest.

-Aaron Lantz

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