“Tae!” I continually screamed his name at the top of my lungs, as if it would stop the torture. We had been arguing in the car about the baby before it happened.
“It’s your fault you couldn’t keep the baby alive,” he spat.
“I’m not the one who crushed my lungs,” I hissed.
“If you hadn’t gotten involved with those girls that would’ve never happened. We would still have the baby and our secret wouldn’t be out!”
“Oh so everything is my fault? It’s my fault that you can’t control your temper or your mouth?!”
“How could I not lose my temper over what she was saying about you?!”
“Just ignore her! It’s not like I care about what she thinks of me.”
“If you had just listened to me and not accepted the dancer spot, we would never have been put in that situation.”
“How do you know Tae?! What if you squeezing me didn’t cause the miscarriage? Or we had run into that girl some other time and had a similar argument, and you spilled the secret then? Or something else caused our secret to get revealed? Who freaking knows?!”
“Just admit it Pais. It was all your fault from the start.”
The tears fell at a rapid pace, and my heart was beating at 100 miles an hour. Why was he saying this? I thought he loved me? What kind of boyfriend throws all of the blame onto his girlfriend? Especially after just having a miscarriage.
“No, because it wasn’t all my fault, and you know it. Why does it have to be anyone’s fault?”
“Stop trying to make yourself not guilty!”
“If I’m guilty, then you’re just as guilty as me!”
That was the last thing I ever said to him. He had been so distracted because of our argument, he wasn’t watching the road. He ran a red light. A car had been going straight, and collided full speed into the driver’s side of the car.
Dead on impact.
No chance of survival.
No chance to take back everything I said.
No chance to tell him I loved him one more time.
I stood up from the ground, ignoring the paramedics orders. I couldn’t live anymore. Don’t try and save me. I continued walking until I was face to face with the horizon, grazing a soft, dark red glow over the ground 100s of feet below me. I looked down over the edge of the cliff.
Our family would be whole again. The baby, Tae, I would be with them again. That was enough for me to jump. But I never felt the impact of the ground.
“Tae!” I was covered in sweat, my heart was racing, and my cheeks were wet with tears.
“I’m right here Jagi. I’m right here.” He walked into the room briskly, a glass of ice water and my favorite ice cream in one hand, and a couple of movies in the other. “Your thrashing woke me up, and I figured it was a bad dream.” He handed me the glass of water before setting everything else down on the table by the bed. He wiped my tears, and pulled me into a tight hug.
“You blamed everything on me... The miscarriage, the secret... And you were distracted and ran a red light. You died instantly. I never got to tell you ‘I love you’ one last time...”
“First of all, none of that stuff is your fault Jagi. It happened for a reason. Second, you would never let yourself distract me from driving. You take that stuff way too seriously,” he teased.
“Yah... Just put on the movie.”
“Yes THE movie. What other movie would it be?”
“Maybe you’ve had a change in taste since the last time we watched.”
“Never. It’s been my favorite since it came out. I saw it like five times in the movie theater.”
“Now that is dedication.” The familiar opening scene of my favorite began to play, and I relaxed instantly. So weird how tap dancing penguins can completely take away all of your stress, fear, and tension.
I don’t question it. Just let the tapping penguins fill your brain and make you happy. As usual, (its only what, the tenth time we’ve watched it together?) we were up on our feet dancing and laughing by the last scene. I’ll admit, losing the baby had its toll me, and the hate I received from fans made me feel unworthy of being Tae’s girlfriend, but nothing could take away the true love I had for this man in front of me.
“What are you doing right now?”
“We just got done with practice so I’m heading home.”
“But you haven’t left the building yet.” How the heck would she know that?
“I’m just taking my time.”
“Yah stop lying to me and tell me why you’re sitting alone, all mopey, on the roof.” Is this a joke? I frantically surveyed the roof. No one else was here. He was alone. “Pabo...” Did she just hang up on me?! She calls me an idiot and then she hangs up- I felt delicate arms wrap around my waist, and whipped around to see who it was.
“Would you stop looking so miserable Kookie?” She was here in person.
“But how?” she smirked while lightly pushing my agape jaw shut.
“It’s called a plane Kookie. It’s an amazing invention that takes people to different places.”
“Yah, sassy as always. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Where’s the fun in that? It was hilarious seeing you so surprised.” I threw her a pouty look, but quickly replaced it with slight worry as I saw her shiver.
“Why aren’t you wearing a heavier coat? Here.” I quickly took off the coat I was wearing, and draped it over her arms.
“Kookie, no. You’re only wearing a t-shirt. I have a better idea.” She grabbed my wrist, and pulled me back inside the building. Finally making it to the front of the building, she led me to a black car parked in front of the sidewalk, engine running. “Now you won’t have to walk home, and well both be warm! The back seats are heated.”
“Is this your car?”
“Yes Kookie. Because I magically transported a two-ton piece of metal from America, across the ocean, all the way to South Korea.”
“Aish! I thought maybe you would be nicer in person than you are on the phone! Guess I was wrong.” She raised an eyebrow at me. It was so creepy how much she looked like Pais like that.
“So you don’t even like me for me? You thought that maybe I was a different person face to face?”
“No Jaycee! That’s not what I meant, I promise. I was just teasing you a little. I like you for you, don’t ever think otherwise.” She crossed her arms. Yeah I was in for it.
“Just get in the car.” I quickly nodded my head, but then came up with an idea. I smirked. Her eyebrows creased slightly, wondering what I was smirking about. I scooped her up into my arms before she could ask, and ran towards the car. Her arms were locked around my neck in a death grip, and her face was buried in my chest. I opened the car door with one hand before gently laying her on the warm seat. I quickly shut the door before she could get mad, and ran to the other side to scoot into the seat next to her.
“What the heck was that Jungkook!?” I laughed as she punched me in the chest. Her eyes widened and she snapped her hand back.
“Just because I’m the maknae, doesnt mean I have to be the scrawniest member,” I smirked.
“Pretty unexpected if you ask me,” she mumbled.
“You saying I look like a weakling?”
“Maybe. You’re not particularly masculine.”
“I’m afraid you’re very mistaken there babe.”
“Since when did you call me babe?”
“Just now. Thought I’d try it out.”
“But were not...”
“Not what?” Her eyes darted around the car, looking everywhere except at me. I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me. “We’re not what Jaycee?”
“Kookie were not dating yet,” she blurted out quickly.
“You’ve arrived at your destination Ms. Norton.” She pulled away from my grasp, and flew out the car. I quickly got out, chasing after her.
“Jaycee!” Dang this girl could run. I caught up with her at the top step of the front porch, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into my arms. “You told me to wait, and I did. But you’re right, were not officially dating yet. Jaycee Norton, if you’re willing to spend 100 times the amount of time I waited for you, with me, then will you be my girlfriend?”
“Her answer is no.”