Five Things I Do When I Live Alone

I've been living with roommates for a few months, and I've realized that there's a lot of stuff I used to do back at my old place that I just stopped doing now that I live with other people. The roomie life changes you! But it also shows you how weird you used to be when there was no one there to judge your life choices!

Want to see what I mean? Here's a list of different things I do when I live alone. (Feel free to let me know if I'm not the only weirdo who does these.)


1. Talking like a cooking show host while cooking dinner.

I learned how to cook from YouTube, so sometimes I can't help but talk as if I'm speaking to an audience that's watching me while I cook. I'm pretty sure if my roommates saw me do this, they'd think I was schizophrenic, so let's just say it's been a really long time since I've done this.


2. Singing karaoke in the living room - everyday, for like an hour.

Before work, after work, in the middle of the night, over the weekend - whenever I wanted to sing a karaoke song, I would go to my flatscreen, find the song on my Roku, and work it out right then and there. I love singing and dancing and rocking out. I can't help it. I was made to be a star.


3. Putting a face mask, hair curlers, and teeth whitening strips on at the same time.

Do you know how freaking weird you look when your entire head is nothing but jumbo curlers, beauty supply store goop, and Crest Whitestrips? You kind of look like the unsettling descendant of Swamp Thing and the Bride of Frankenstein.

(I mean, what? #IWokeUpLikeThis. Obviously.)


4. Throwing together romantic candlelit dinners... for one.

I love lobster. I hate waiting for occasions to eat it. If I'm really feeling 'paid', I might go steam a lobster, some clams, marinated veggies, etc. and cook myself an epic dinner. Then I light some candles, pour some wine, and eat it while watching 'Criminal Minds'.

(Listen. Matthew Gray Gubler is a really hard worker, and this is the only way we're able to date these days.)


5. Blasting really loud music whenever I want to.

I have never been good at listening to music at realistic volumes, especially when I'm trying to get something clean that day, ie: cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the living room, clearing up my bedroom. If my strangely nocturnal butt felt like folding laundry at 2:30 in the morning, I could very well do it - with my jamz turned up to 11!


So confess, everybody! What do you all usually do when you've got the place to yourself?

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