WARNING: Mature, gang related content
I'm in Yongguk's room once again. He's sitting on the bed with me as I continue to cry against his shoulder. Not knowing what else to do he is still awkwardly patting my head; but it's enough to let me know someone is there with me.
"Why would he do that to me?" I barely get out the words before I start crying harder. "He says he cares about me, but then he does that? He scared me! I thought he was actually going to hurt me!"
"I'm sorry. I don't know why he would do that. You know, I've never seen him punish one of his men like he did Daehyun. I've certainly never seen him beat or direct that much anger at anyone either, friend or otherwise. He's always been level-headed; but I don't think he could control himself because it was you that was being hurt. He does care about you, more than you think. He's just not sure how to deal with it."
I've calmed down enough that I can control my breathing and talk, "Well I don't care about him. How could I trust him after that? The look in his eyes made him seem absolutely unpredictable. I didn't know what he was thinking. When I said I wanted to be with you he looked like he really did want to hurt me."
Yongguk grabs my chin lightly with his thumb and index finger, tilting my head up toward his so he can look me in the eyes. "You told him that you wanted to be with me?"
"W-why me?" He can't comprehend why anyone, especially a woman, would want to be with him.
"Because I feel safer with you. You're nice. You're calm and gentle with me."
Yongguk looks as though he's waiting in anticipation for me to continue talking.
"When I couldn't walk you picked me up without thinking twice. You covered me with a blanket when I was cold. You let me stay in your room, in your bed without saying anything or complaining."
His hand falls into his lap and he looks down. "Those things aren't important. They're insignificant and don't mean anything."
I take and hold his hand. "They meant a lot to me. I wasn't as scared thanks to you. I felt much better than if I'd have been alone or with someone else."
He turns his head toward me. "Seriously? Those little things made you feel better?"
I nod. "They really did. What comforted me the most though was when you'd talk with me."
He looks at me like I'm crazy; how could he comfort someone. He takes both my hands in his. "You're wrong, I-I can't help people. That's not something I can do."
"Why are you so hard on yourself? You're too insecure. Don't be like that. I'm telling you that you helped me; so believe it. Please Yongguk."
For a few moments he does nothing but look in my eyes. His face gives me the impression that his mind is running a mile a minute.
Suddenly I find myself practically being crushed by his arms around me; good God, is this a hug?
I can only manage enough air for a whisper, "Can you loosen your hug a little?"
He releases me; his eyes wide and cheeks burning red. "S-sorry!"
I can't help but giggle.
"What's so funny?"
"You're blushing, I never would have expected that."
"What?" As he puts his hand on his face to make sure I'm not lying, he realizes he's indeed blushing and immediately turns the other way.
I smile at him. "You cheered me up; thanks."
"Y-you're welcome, I guess."
It's kinda cute how he's so shy; and turns out he stutters when he's nervous or embarrassed too, I wonder if he's ever noticed that. He really has a few unique, yet somehow, charming qualities to him.