Beware The Good Days

Good days are normal for everybody. In fact, for most people, they would have several good days and then be interrupted by a bad moment that causes the whole day to go bad. That's pretty much the norm.

But for people like me, we don't really have "good days." Instead, we have just manageable days. Days where multiple worries are going through our head and we just suck it up and get on with our existence. But just recently, I experienced a collection of good days in a row(I even made a card of it). In those days, I wasn't thinking about anything at all. Any worries were quickly resolved in my head and I continued on joyfully. I was starting to think that my fortune was finally changing.

Then suddenly, as if life was only playing a game with me, everything went to shit. I was having problems with my car that I need to work (I'm a delivery driver for dominos), I got yelled at by my boss on several occasions, my best friend was turned against me by someone who I want to erase from my life and a lot of other things. It's like everything that held my being just collapsed. I reacted how I always do under extreme stress: poorly.

My anxiety hit the fan. I couldn't concentrate at work and my hands were shaking at the same rate as the thoughts that were running through my head. But, I held it together and pressed on.

Now, I'm ok. I'm still recovering from that whole episode and some things are not fixed yet, but I'm gonna keep trying to rebuild everything that was broken; maybe even improve them from their earlier condition. I talked about everything to my therapist and she told me something that brought me to tears because of how much it impacted me. She said that similar circumstances occurred almost a year ago. Everything had gone terribly wrong back then and I was in the same state. However, last year, I ended up in the hospital. This time, I kept my cool and prevailed. That shows progress. That shows that even if I break down again, I will always be better than I was a year ago. That comment is enough to carry my hopes for the months to come.

I am in love with poetry. The letters that form words can channel so much emotion into simple phrases. Only poetry can describe exactly what you are feeling at any given moment.
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