In my own way, things didn't used to be like this; his anger was never seen like this, his voice never risen like this and his tears have never been seen like this. I showed every bit of sympathy...... but all he did was push me away like I was just a stranger. I don't know if it's just his anger getting the best of him or if he's really this upset at me, but, I would never give up on him because I care about him and his feelings. But I guess he never realized it.
"Why are we arguing?" you might ask, really, I don't even know myself and I am the one receiving the punishment. Could I possibly be this stupid?, ugh!, how I wish he would just let me talk for a moment. But the again, it wouldn't make a difference, he's too upset to care right now. Somehow, my conclusion for this pendamonium of yells and tears is still unknown to me and the fact that I don't even feel that bad or saddened is annoying the shit out of me. Why can't I remember what happened back then?, why can I only remember what happened 6 years ago but nothing else?...... what the fuck is wrong with me?.
This is an absurd sequence of events, my thoughts are still not clear enough for me to understand and hugging him isn't helping either. He let's his tears run down like a river and his hands rest on my chest, but her was still hesitant.
He looked at me in the eyes, the sparkle in those eyes never left his face and even in tears he still looked beautiful, ugh, what am I saying?.
There was no dialogue coming from the both of us, just deeps stares and deep tear marks on our faces. No expresions were shown, not the slightest movements..... just staring, I could do this all day if meant making him feel better.
I leaned closer to him, close enough for our breaths to be felt around each other. He didn't react and just stared. What now?, a wave of silence?. I opened my mouth to at least break the inmense quietness, but closed it quickly and just layed there staring at his eyes. He got more relaxed and leaned his forhead to mine. It felt awkward having him this close to me but for some reason I didn't want it gone.
"....... I can't"
"I don't know"
"What am I to you?"