Finding someone who absolutely adores you – that's the dream, isn't it? To find that one person who truly believes you can do no wrong, because you're just THAT awesome and amazing and brilliant?
I believe that it's possible. You may not have found the right person yet, but that's no reason to give up hope. I have faith that there's someone out there for everyone. But before you go continue the search for your soulmate, have you thought about whether you're ready to meet them?
I'm glad I didn't meet my guy when I thought I was ready. To be honest, I was kind of... a mess. I didn't know how to communicate my emotions clearly or be an equal partner in a relationship. I could barely take care of my own emotional needs – forget those of another person. I wanted a relationship for what I could get out of it (self-esteem, security, happiness, etc.), not because I had found someone I felt was worthy to spend my love on.
Maybe there's a problem with wanting to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
Maybe being single is actually the right thing sometimes. Because who wants to meet their other half when they're still an immature, crazy mess? What if you miss out on impressing the one person who really matters because you still have some major growing up to do?
Of course, we all have some growing up to do, no matter where we are in life. But I am seriously glad I had a chance to grow out of my selfish phase (well, for the most part) and figure out my emotional health (mostly?) and become a little bit closer to the person I want to be before I met my dream guy.
I'm sure he would have liked me regardless, but would he have fallen crazy in love with me? I can't say. I'm just happy that now, I'm more confident being myself, I'm happier, and I'm more equipped to be the kind of partner I want to be.
So how do you become the kind of single person who attracts their soulmate?
Firstly, there's no formula. Everyone's experiences are different. But my humble advice:
1. Be yourself.
Most cliché thing ever, or just good advice? Be your freaking self. Stop trying to be an Instagram celebrity or a club star or a cool guy. Be who you are. Embrace everything that makes you who you are. Forget what the world tells you that you should be like, and just be the person you want to be! /inspirational speech.
2. Be real.
My boyfriend is the realest person I've ever been with. It scared me a little at first, and then I grew to really, really value it. I can always trust whatever he says to be exactly how he really feels. Is that not the most refreshing interaction you can imagine? And when he's upset, he tells me. When there's something on his mind, he tells me. We have a lot of conversations about our feelings, and it sounds terrible but it's absolute heaven.
Since all this started, I have become so much more honest about what I need. In my relationship, yes, but in my friendships and family-ships (word? yes? no?) also. IT'S THE BEST POLICY DO IT DO IT NOW. You'll be surprised how refreshing it feels to just say what you mean and be honest about what bothers you.
3. Learn from your mistakes.
This is maybe THE number one quality of datable people. When you mess up, you learn from it. You stay humble. You don't take yourself too seriously, and you can laugh at your flaws.
Yeahhhh, I'm still kinda working on this one.
But it's the quality that amazing partners both look for and possess. Foster it.
4. Invest in the things that matter.
Which brings me to #4. How about you stop wasting time on crap that doesn't matter, and re-prioritize? Spend your energy on the things in life that matter. Like family. Friendship. Helping people. Making the world a better place. The things you're passionate about.
Some things are just kind of genuinely pointless. Stop caring about them, and start caring about the important things in life. Become a person of integrity.
5. Be passionate.
Be honest with yourself. Do you have passions? Or hobbies, even? Or are you the kind of person who just comes home from work every day, watches TV, and then goes to sleep?
The kind of people who inspire the adoration of amazing partners aspire to something greater. They are passionate, and actively chase after what they love. It's the number one way to be an interesting person: care deeply about something. So whether it's mountain biking, musicals, or stamps – go get 'em, tiger.
6. Work on yourself every day.
My final tip for attracting a partner who adores you is to keep working on yourself. Every. Single. Day. The best people in this world are those who constantly try to do better, be kinder, achieve their goals, and love like crazy. Stop being okay with unhappiness, and start confronting the problems in your life and in your attitude. If you don't like something, change it. You have the power.
Aaaand here I go being all inspirational again. /gratuitous peppiness.
The main thing about attracting someone who adores you? Stop thinking about them, and start focusing on you. Become the partner you wish to see in the world! Or something like that.
I wish you luck on your quest. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them! Drop them in the comments below. :)