Genre: Angst (Mature Content Warning) MAFIA!YOONGI+BTS
Members: Yoongi/ Suga; Reader (You); Jimin(Dead); Jungkook; Jin; JHope; Rap Monster; Taehyung
Part: 47/? Character Profiles | Video
Summary:He had a goal and you were just one more person to crush to get to it.
Perhaps he really didn’t feel anything towards you..?
Deliberate steps were taken towards you by him until he was right in front of you. His fingers lightly touched your forearm; as if testing if he could really touch you. At the feel of your skin under his, his palm immediately flattening down on your arm feeling of warmth of your body. He drew in a quick breath. “Fuck.” Hand sliding up to your shoulder to pull you directly in front of him, Yoongi’s eyes darted over you as he frantically pulled you into his arms “Fuck..” He repeated breathlessly.
It sounded like he was finally convinced that you were actually there. Yoongi pressed his nose into your hair, drawing in a deep breath. His fingers dug painfully into your skin, trying to hold you as tightly to him as possible. His breathing was rushed, fingers clammy and trembling as his hands knotted into your clothes. “Yoongi?” You called softly. You didn’t have much time here with him, any moment Jungkook would be finished and you’d have to go. There wasn’t much you could do but hug him as tightly as he was hugging you and. He was really there and he was alright. “Yoongi-”
He pressed his mouth to yours, lips parting. Yoongi’s fingers dug into your skin, desperate to keep you close. You sigh against him, wanting to tell him so many things but only able to stupidly chant his name between breaths. He nodded, eyes briefly opening to see the way your lips curled as you called out for him. He shivered and quietly added, “Jungkook is here, isn’t he? You need to go before he comes looking for you.”
One of his hands flattened on your lower back and jerked your flush against him. “Just give me five more minutes to hold you.” He rasped,”I missed you, it’s been so damn long..” Your mind cleared and a wave of disappointment settled in. That was his first sentence to you? His rationality was relieving, but some small part of you was hoping he’d squash the doubt that had been creeping in.
That he’d say he loved you.
He kissed you again, tongue brushing over yours. Responding less enthusiastically as him, your nails lightly scratched at the back of his head to wait the kiss out, the pads of your fingers soothing his scalp. Yoongi sighed into the kiss as he raised his hands up to gently cradle your head and angle it better. He pulled back momentarily, sucking in a breath through his teeth before kissing you harder. This time, you ended the kiss before him, turning your head slightly from him. He only leaned in again, kissing the corner of your lips as he pulled your mouth back to his. Yoongi mumbled something under his breath between kisses, voice slurring his words together. The only thing he’d clearly enunciate was that you had to go, but even then he’d tighten his grip on you.
Your hands pressed against his shoulders, keeping him at bay. If all he was going to do was kiss you and tell you needed to go, then you wanted to go. This wasn’t how you anticipated your reunion with Yoongi going. It wasn’t like you weren’t relieved to see him; you were elated..but his response to being reunited with you was barely anything. It was as if you’d never been separated.
He brushed your hands aside, pressing harder against you and cursing under his breath, “You have to go.” Biting his lip, he drew back from you quickly, running his hand through his hair. Yoongi blinked rapidly, “Fuck, why do you have to go..?” He drew in a shaky breath, “A little longer.” He softly pleaded, and your heart fluttered. Was he finally going to talk to you now? His hands settled on your hips, lips peppering kisses up your jaw.
”Just stay a little longer. I missed you so damn much.” His hands ran up and down your sides, warming your skin. “I forgot what you felt like.”
You bit your lip, forcing yourself to smile up at him. He was starting to get anxious with how silent you were. You weren’t supposed to be standoffish. You were supposed to melt in his arms. His hands stilled, “What’s wrong?” He narrowed his eyes at you when you shook your head,”Y/N, what’s wrong?”
“..Nothing, I just..I didn’t think..I’ve thought about you a lot and I..I noticed something.” You lowered your gaze to his chin, unwilling to look him in the eyes any longer,”And I thought…since I was in such a bad place, I was making things up, but you..you proved it.”
He frowned, brows furrowing lightly. That didn’t sound good. “Proved what?”
“You have a physical attraction to me.”
He brushed back your hair, taking a moment to catch his breath. If that was it, then he was anxious for nothing. His physical attraction to you wasn’t a secret; he displayed it obviously and plainly. “Yeah, I do-”
“That’s it.” You hissed.
Yoongi froze, timidly asking, “What?”
“A while back, in the car when Jeon kissed me and you watched. I saw that, Yoongi…how..how you couldn’t look away. You stared at Jeon and I a lot when we were together and I figured it was because couples in this..this kind of life weren’t that common. But then even when we weren’t right beside each other.. you stared at me, never Jungkook…and then in The Room when you said you copied him and how he kissed me and treated me to get me to respond to you at first. I don’t know what to think of that now..” Staring up at him suspiciously, Yoongi felt nervous. He didn’t think you had picked up on those things about him. You were more attentive than he had given you credit for. What happened to the Y/N who only hung off whatever person was showing her some sort of care? Yoongi’s grip loosened minutely, what else had you noticed about him?
“On the cliff,” You remembered,”..I wanted you to kiss me, I wanted proof that you felt something for me, but even when I got my ‘proof’, you couldn’t even form a good answer as to how you felt about me, just that it was ‘something’. Did you even kiss me to prove something or just for the sake of kissing me? I’ve had this thought stuck in my head that you only like to touch me, you don’t actually care what happens to me as long as I continue to let you touch me.”
“You know, Jin said the same thing.” He murmured, “..I didn’t want to have this talk right here and now.” He continued on to say,”I told you I wasn’t sure, you can’t force me to say I love you when I don’t really know if I do.” Yoongi closed his eyes at the hurt look you sent him. He was able to put out most of his feelings while trapped alone, but now that you were clawing them back up, he was having a hard time sparing your feelings as he tried to express his own. He didn’t feel for you like you thought he did and he thought he was so obvious with the difference. How could you not have noticed that his affection for you was odd?
”Yes, I like touching you. Yes, I love that you let me without hesitation. Yes, I know you probably think I’m only using your for your body and I am.” He deadpanned. You visibly flinched, eyes widening.
“You give me something that I haven’t had for a long time. You can’t look me in the eye and say that the entirety of our so-called ‘relationship’ was based on touch, it was physical, Y/N. We fucked and we liked it and if we did it right now there would be no complaints from either of us. I haven’t..I’ve never craved someone else like this before and it’s not even your fault or mine. It’s Namjoon. He is the only reason why we are attracted to each other. He beat it into us and now, we’re trying to keep it going. I’m trying to keep it going, I want your touch, not your..not the extra shit that comes with really loving you. You see what the fuck it did to Jungkook and Jimin..I didn’t become a boss by falling in love with women. You’re..you are the perfect solution. You don’t fucking care that I’m in the mafia, or that I run a part of the mafia! You don’t give a damn about who I’ve killed or how many times I’ve lied to your face. You don’t give a shit about any of it, but you still let me in. You’re so fucking blind about who I am and what I do and what I can do, I’d be a fucking idiot to pass you up.”
Something deep inside you burned. Yoongi wasn’t serious was he? He was right, in some aspects, you did ignore his whole mafia title and what that implied, but you trying to get to know the real Yoongi was no grounds for him to use you.
“I know your whole damn backstory, which is fucking dangerous if you really think about it. I have something over you. I know your whole damn family’s history.” He rambled,”We..we were forced together. It’s not my fault and it’s not yours. The circumstances were shit, but I liked being with you. I liked what I felt knowing and seeing and feeling you beside me everyday. I loved it.” He stressed. You took a step back from him, already anticipating what he was going to say next. Yoongi’s hand shot out, gripping your arm,”Don’t look at me like that, you have to feel the same way too, right?” He pleaded softly,”Think about it, Y/N. Just..just stop crying and really think.” He tugged you closer, grip tightening when you resisted him,
“You and I were stuck in a room for over a month. We didn’t do much but talk, sleep, kiss or have sex. It was inevitable for us to get attached to each other. Now let’s say you had never met Jungkook before and suddenly you’re forced to do the same exact thing with him; or me with Areum or some other girl. We’d get attach to them, right? It becomes a habit. We’d wake up everyday expecting to turn over and see each other or Jungkook or Areum or whoever. We’d get used to having sex with each other or them or talking, or just breathing the same damn air and then..And then it’s over. We’re outside and separated and you spend the first night apart and what..?” He asked, shaking your arm.
“You miss them.” You choked.
“The habit is broken and you miss the feeling of them. All that stuff you were forced to do together isn’t really feelings, it’s cultivated. It’s fake.” Yoongi corrected,”You miss their smell and their touch and their taste.”
“You miss them.” You pressed. “I missed you, Yoongi. I don’t fucking care about the sex or the kissing or any of that. I missed you.”
“I missed the feel of you.” He whispered, “I missed the feeling you gave me. I could get similar feelings from any other girl, but with you it’s special. It’s comforting. It’s something that I only want you to give me, not fucking Jungkook or anyone else.”
“Because you feel something for me-”
He glared at you, “Because feelings for you were forced on me. I was stuck with you until you became ideal to me. I need you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
He shook his head in disbelief. How were you not understanding him? “It makes perfect sense, you’re just stuck on this idea that you love me because of that room to see past it.”
“This..this is the most we’ve ever spoken..this is the most you’ve ever told me about how you feel, and now I know why you were so hesitant to tell me. You sound like you already have the answer to whether you feel something for me or not. So you’ve been just stringing me along with your ‘I’m still figuring it out’ because you know what I would do when I found out?” You snapped. Yoongi fell silent, hand dropping away from you, “And now you’re trying to get me to see exactly on your level so you can lay it on me and still expect me to want to be with you? You know, I never…I never saw you as the mafia boss type, I thought you were too kind and too gentle to be like that and I figured you hiding away was just proof of that, but..not anymore. You just plant ideas into people’s heads, convincing them to think exactly like you do and just sit back while they do all your work for you.”
“You weren’t supposed to react this way.” He muttered, raising a hand up to his head. “Where the fuck is Jungkook?”
“What the hell does Jungkook have to do with this!?” You shouted,”I’m sure Jungkook could care less where I am right now.”
Yoongi blinked, jaw clenching, “You two are fighting?” He ran a hand through his hair, softly cursing under his breath. He didn’t expect you to to be fighting. Maybe another lapse in time where you thought the grass was greener somewhere away from Jungkook, but you’d still think of him with fondness. Yoongi never factored in you legitimately being angry with Jungkook, or from your wording, Jungkook being angry with you.. All his interactions with you depended on your fondness for Jungkook. Yoongi tried to act otherwise, but even now he was still pulling from Jungkook’s mannerisms to keep you close. If Jungkook and you were angry with each other, then none of Yoongi’s methods would go well with you.
It’d only remind you of Jungkook.
Then you’d remember you were angry with him and then that anger would shift back to Yoongi for subconsciously reminding you of Jungkook.
Yoongi blanked. He wasn’t sure what to do next. He had been put on the spot with your sudden need of a verbal confirmation of his love, and had just started reverting back to things he’s heard of Jungkook saying. Hadn’t he deflected his feelings for you before and it went over smoothly?
“Why are you so hung up on Jungkook and I?” You blurted. “Why are you so fucking hung up on how Jungkook treats me? You obviously don’t give a shit other than to try it out yourself! And you’re fucking ace at it apparently! So how did you know he blew me off when I told him I loved him earlier if you’re stuck in here?”
“He..he what?” Yoongi’s heart dropped. Jungkook had blown you off? And now he had just done the same thing? His mouth felt dry. You weren’t going to let this go. He fucked up and you weren’t going to forget it.
And he was never going to have you.
“You’re..I can’t believe my brothers trusted you! I can’t believe I thought of starting a family with you-”
That was his last rope.
He forced himself to calm down. He had this one last chance to turn this all around in his favor. The baby, which he was certain you still believed to be his, was the one of the biggest ties between you two. Mimicking Jungkook had backfired severely, but Yoongi might be able to fix everything with the baby. “I’m sorry about our bab-”
You pushed aside the fact that he knew about the baby to begin with. He probably knew the entire time and kept his mouth shut. “You don’t give a damn about my baby.” You seethed. He cared about how you made him feel and nothing else. Yoongi’s conniving words died in throat. You weren’t giving him any sort of edge and it was pissing him off. He was the one who cut people off, not the one being cut off.
He was the goddamn boss.
“Y/N.” He cooed, going back to the previous topic. Jungkook had rejected you so Yoongi needed to be overly coddling to have any chance of getting you back to his side. Any attempts to hold your pregnancy in his favor were squashed so he had to go back to the one thing he could debate with you about.
He needed to be the opposite of Jungkook right now.
“What’s wrong with that?” He asked. “There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. There’s nothing wrong with protecting someone you like being with. I don’t feel for you exactly how you want me to, but I’m still here.” He kissed your cheek,”I’m still going to protect you, is that what you’re worried about?” If there was anything you fell for, it was the promise of protection. Yoongi felt you brush his hands aside as you took a step back from him.
“You used me. You’re using me. You probably used my brothers and look how they ended up.” Your hands clenched into fists. What was Yoongi’s whole point to this? If he just wanted someone to have sex with, he could go to any girl. Why was he so insistent on having you? He talked as if he blamed everything with you on Namjoon, shouldn’t he be avoiding you all together then?
Yoongi shook his head, “I went back for you. I put my life and what’s left of my organization’s life on the line for you. I’m in fucking prison because of you.” He ground out suddenly,”That means something. It’s not what the fuck you want, but you’re not some stranger to me. I still want you. You’re still fucking mine-”
“Y/N!” Captain Jeon’s voice whispered harshly from the doorway. When he had returned to the lobby to tell you Jungkook was wrapping up and you’d all be out of there soon, he was surprised to find all the seats and even the benches outside empty. Casting a stern look at the guard at the desk, Captain Jeon was a bit angered to hear that you had gone to see Min Yoongi; even more upset that you were allowed to. Yoongi was a dangerous man, who in their right mind would let a woman, who had just been discharged from the hospital, in to see him?
He took one look at your tear stricken face and suddenly he was rushing into the room and forcing his way between you and Yoongi. Yoongi stiffened, his eyes narrowing at the Captain’s hand on your shoulder. Head angled down towards you, the mafia boss glared at the other man’s profile. There was something too familiar about the way that man carried himself and it put him on edge. Yoongi didn’t like him touching you.
“I don’t know why you came here to see him, but hurry up, Jungkook’s coming this way.” Captain Jeon mumbled. Hurriedly, he turned you towards the door. Yoongi intercepted you, shoving Captain Jeon’s hand away and cradling your face to pull you in for another kiss. He wasn’t ready for you to go yet. Your time together was too short and you two weren’t on the same page.
Yoongi needed you to be level with him or else Jungkook would chirp in your ears and Yoongi would lose all his hard work. Going back to Jungkook was the last thing Yoongi wanted. He wanted to talk to you, he had so many things to fix. Yoongi opened his mouth, tongue twisting over his words as he incoherently spluttered.
He needed more time.
He wasn’t ready to go back into that pitch black room.
He wasn’t ready for the deafening silence.
He wasn’t ready to forget what you felt like against him.
He wasn’t ready for you to cut him out.
“I-I Fuck! I can’t even talk.” He rattled on shakily. Heartrate spiking, Yoongi was all of a sudden desperate to keep you by his side. He fucked up and you saw right through him.
And you didn’t like what you saw.
Even though he was on the verge of a breakdown, he still took special care to talk quietly. He only wanted you to hear what he had to say. “Don’t you ever let Jungkook know we saw each other, you got that?”
The captain had started to gently pry Yoongi’s hands from you. Yoongi straightened up, forcing himself to put some distance between the two of you.
He fucking lost.
Jungkook was heading back and all he was doing was increasing Jungkook’s chances on finding out you two had saw each other. Then that would lead to questions and Yoongi was sure you were going to spill everything to Jungkook. “ I can’t- shit, I need more time!” He rushed, reaching out to grip onto you again. He needed leverage. Yoongi needed a reason for you to want to be near him. ”Jin’s alive.” As Captain Jeon led you from the room, Yoongi followed close behind, hands knotted in the back of your shirt. He wasn’t ready to let you go yet.
“You haven’t fucking said anything. Say something, Y/N.” He let your shirt go when you stiffened,”What do you think of me? Are you mad? Hurt? Angry?” He asked. “You wanted to know about me and I told you. I was honest with you for once, isn’t that what you wanted? Why the fuck are you treating me like this?”
“Isn’t this how you’ve treated me?” You muttered,”I told you my true feelings in that room. I was earnest and I told you everything. ‘You know my whole damn backstory’, yeah? and all you would do is just look at me.” You whispered. Yoongi clenched his fists in anger. He had watched you day after day after day, this wasn’t how you were supposed to respond. This wasn’t you. What the fuck had happened to you in the short time you two were apart? You were suddenly so different than what he had you pegged as and he didn’t have enough time to study you to figure you out.
Letting you go, he quietly ordered. “Come back to see me.” Yoongi watched your eyes land on him before focusing elsewhere as if you hadn’t heard him. His blood pressure spiked, he had never been so blatantly ignored,”I’m fucking talking to you. Come back to see me.” You gripped onto Captain Jeon’s arm, moving a bit quicker, but Yoongi stayed hot on your heels, voice dropping to an irate hiss as he repeated his demand over and over, expecting you to give some sort of notion of agreement.
Yoongi was held back from going out the double doors with you by the guards posted there. Each one holding one of his arms, the guards nodded towards Captain Jeon as he led you back to the entrance. You looked back at Yoongi one last time. He stood there, face reddening in anger. “You can’t just walk away from me.” He hissed,
“You’re going to fucking regret turning your back on a guy like me.”
CREDIT TO SUGA-OF-DAEGU