What she said to me that afternoon was even more hurtful than before; just the thought of her forgetting about me and moving on makes me want tell her so badly... that way she can let out all her anger and cry it all out. But I can't right now, not until it's the right time. Even though I feel this way, what she said to me about moving on from my middle sweetheart, it made me feel like that's what I should've done when I found out she didn't recognize or remembered me. She said she doesn't like to be played with and that she's gone through too much in the last 10 years to be dealing with sad memories and ecounters.
I lay next to her, on her bed, admiring her facial features. Her face was small and soft, her eyes dark brown and her lips where thick and pink, along with her skin which was a caramel brown. She came from an American family but had to move to Korea because her dad was working in a big company. God she looks so beautiful while sleeping, I smile and gave her a soft kiss on her lips, which makes her open her eyes.
"You can't sleep? why are you staring at me like that?"
"Am I not allowed to?"
"Well sometimes it gets creepy and I don't wan't such intimidating eyes looking like they're trying to take my soul slowly."
"You have such an imagination.... hurts my feelings."
"And why is that Kim Namjoon?."
"Well for one, I'm supposed to be the smart one in the relationship and two, I'm the one to have such keen imagination because I have many things to say about a certain person, the world and life it's self."
"You know, sometimes I find your philosopies very deep. They show how you really feel about the world and how you hold on to things despite the bare end. Namjoon, you're a very smart and caring person..... never change."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"You were bullied back in 6th grade and the people who bullied you always said that you needed to changed and that they didn't need to hear your smart comments. But really, it's just you being you; you don't care about other's opinion on things and you don't like to lie about how you truly feel about something. You're also very apologetic towards things that are blamed on you despite the fact that you were probably not even at fault. I understand that sometimes you would like to just scream and say that you're sorry for hurting people but you soon grow to realize that you didn't hurt any one and that everything will be ok because bad things don't usually last for too long. I admire that about you so please... don't ever change, I don't want you to change."
"How did you know I was bullied back in 6th grade?"
"I just thought about it... and besides, you told me the night I met you. Dummie."
"I did? guess I forgot."
"Well I didn't and I will keep reminding you about that to make you realize that because of past experiences you've become a great person. And if you were to lie about something I'm sure you have your reasons and whoever gets angry about it.... they will understand after you tell them your reasoning. And if they don't then just leave and let them think whatever they want."