It’s been two weeks since you’ve seen or even talked to Hyungwon. The more you try to forget about it, the bigger the issue gets and after waiting impatiently for him to at least send you a text you decide to stomp your way over to their dorm. Honestly, the last month has been rough on you two. After your relationship went public the fans backlashed against Hyungwon in ways you’d never imagined possible. Not only did they send him threatening messages, but they even started shoving him around at the airport. It pissed you off, but what made it worse was how Hyungwon refused to talk about it with you. Actually, Hyungwon refused to talk to you at all and you’re his girlfriend for crying out loud. The entire situation is a mess and it’s been stressing you out so you hope that when you arrive at the apartment you’ll at least be able to sort somethings out with him face-to-face. ~~ Your hopes are quickly crushed because when you ring the doorbell, Shownu opens it and frowns immediately. “Let me guess, you’re here to talk to Hyungwon.” You nod, trying to move past the leader of Monsta X, but he blocks the entry to the dorm with his hand. “He said that if you showed up not to let you in.” “Shownu-” “I’m sorry, I promised him.” You roll your eyes, crossing your hands over your chest. “Shownu, it’s been two weeks. I deserve at least a call or a text or even an e-mail! I’m not here to start a fight, I just need to make sure he’s ok. Out of all the people in the world, you know I’m the one who wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt Hyungwon. So please, let me in.” You look up at Shownu with a pleading expression. After a short pause he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before stepping aside to let you in. “Just don’t tell him I’m the one who opened the door.” He mumbles before disappearing into the living room. You stand in the hallway, taking a moment to touch the necklace you have on. It’s half of a heart, the other half is with Hyungwon and you whisper to yourself that you just have to calm down- you and Hyungwon can work this out. You make your way over to his room carefully, knocking and hearing no reply. You don’t want to waste any more time so you turn the knob and let yourself in. The first thing you see is Hyungwon sitting hunched over at his desk. His hair is a mess and he’s dressed in sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. On the computer screen is some game he's in the middle of playing and beside him is a half-eaten bowl of instant ramen. You walk over and your eyes flick to his neck. He isn’t wearing the necklace. You clear your throat to get your boyfriend's attention and he double clicks the mouse to pause the game. When he looks up to see that it’s you standing in front of him he stares for a moment before turning back to his computer and continuing his game. It’s rude of him and it ticks you off, but you bare with it for now. “Hyungwon, I need to talk to you.” “Not now.” He answers curtly. “You should leave.” He adds and you do your best to ignore your growing annoyance. “Hyungwon, we haven’t talked for a long time. Please just tell me what’s going on.” This time he doesn’t answer, he just keeps clicking and pressing buttons, immersed in his game and paying you no mind. You count to ten in your head before yanking the the mouse away from him and shutting off the computer monitor. “Yah! What the hell?!?” Hyungwon shouts and you narrow your eyes. “I was talking to you Hyungwon. The least you could is stop your game and listen to me.” He grabs back the mouse and scoffs. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to listen to you. Just go away.” “Hyungwon! You’ve been telling me to go away for the past month!” You clench your fists and watch as Hyungwon lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “Exactly, so why can’t you just take a hint and get out?” “Because I-I...” Your voice stutters for a bit. ”I love you Hyungwon! I care about you! I can’t just leave without knowing what’s bothering you! I’m your girlfriend and I want to help….” “Well then stop! Stop caring, stop being so noisy! It doesn’t matter that you want to help, you’re just making everything worse!” Hyungwon smashes his hand down onto the desk, startling you with the sound. He looks at you, apparent anger in his scowl and you can’t help but feel tears begin to well up because this isn’t the Hyungwon you know. This isn’t the boy who held you when you cried, who told you jokes to lift your spirits. This isn’t the boy who would spend hours upon hours just talking to you over the phone. You figure out that right now, you don’t know this Hyungwon at all. You don’t know him because he’s mean and disrespectful and he's everything your Hyungwon is not. “Wh-why are you being like this to me?” You stutter, not sure if you can hold back the tears any longer. Hyungwon doesn’t look like he has a sapling of regret though and he straightens up before pointing to the door. “Just get out before I say something that will hurt your feelings.” That’s the last straw. You rip the necklace off, throwing it in his face and shouting that fine, you will go- you’ll go forever because you’re done with him. “What do you mean done?” Hyungwon asks, picking the necklace up off the floor as you fume and turn towards the door. “I mean I’m done Hyungwon. You’ve already said enough to hurt my feelings, believe me and I’m sick and tired of it. Just imagine that this relationship never happened.” You leave before Hyungwon can even process that you’ve broken up with him. You’re sobbing by the time you reach the bus stop and you crouch down and do your best to hide your face in your hands. It’s horrible, you can’t believe you did it, but it had to be done - after all those times of being ignored, being told to ‘go away’, and being shoved aside you just couldn’t take it anymore. “This is for the best.” You tell yourself, wiping your eyes on your sleeve as you try to compose yourself. ~~ Hyungwon holds the necklace in his hands, toying with it and looking up at the ceiling as he lays in bed. He can still feel the warmth on it, he knows you haven’t taken it off since he’d given it to you. He thinks about how you looked when you were almost crying, the way you had sounded when you were pleading for him to say something back. A strong pain surges through his chest and he sits up and clutches the necklace tighter. He hadn’t meant to say those things to you, to keep pushing you away, in all honesty he was just trying to protect you. He didn’t want you to feel at fault for what the fans were doing and he knew that with your kind heart you’d probably only blame yourself. But he had messed up. He had lost you this time, for good. But Hyungwon can’t accept that and he gets up and gets dressed. Out of the drawer of his desk he pulls out his matching necklace and slips it into his pocket along with yours. When he runs past the kitchen, Shownu asks where he’s going and Hyumgwon just shouts out your name. ~~ Standing in front of the door to your apartment, Hyungwon holds his breath. He tries to practice apologizing before knocking slowly. It takes a couple of seconds but the door opens and you look up to see him there. “Can I come in?” He asks and you shake your head. After what he said to you, he’s the last person you want to see and you’re about to tell him that it’s useless- you don’t want to speak to him until Hyungwon pulls the necklaces out and tells you to remember. “Remember when I bought these? It was our 100th day together and also your birthday.” He mumbles, bringing the two sides of the hearts together to make one. You look at them and you feel your chest swell. You do remember that day, it had rained and Hyungwon had pulled you into some small jewelry store down in Gangnam. You had been distracted by cute phone charms when he had offered getting couple necklaces to commemorate the special day. You had been to shy to wear it after he’d bought it, but when he insisted on putting it on for you, you had smiled and thought to yourself that out of all the boys you’ve ever liked - Hyungwon had had to be the best. But as much as that memory used to make you happy, now it only leaves you more upset. “Hyungwon…..” “You remember? Don’t you? Baby…please….” He starts and you shake your head. “No, Hyungwon that’s enough. You said what you said and it’s over now. We’re over now.” Your voice is shaky, but you refuse to give into him again. It isn’t fair that he treated you that way and it isn’t right that he thinks you’ll just forgive him like this. Hyungwon runs a hand through his hair and tries to take a step closer to you. You move away and tell him to not come any closer. “Baby……I’m sorry, please understand that I didn’t mean those things that I said. I was being stupid, I was being dumb. I promise, it will never happen again…” He begs, still holding the necklaces in his hand. You don’t look at them and instead you try hard to look at Hyungwon in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter Hyungwon, you can’t take back a whole month. If you had been mean to me for a day or two, that would be fine, but you pushed me away and away over and over again. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.” Your gaze falls to the floor and you politely ask Hyungwon to move back so you can close the door. He stutters out another apology, trying hard to convince you to give him another chance, but the tears are streaming down your face now and you can’t even spare him another glance or you’ll start full on sobbing. You close the door, locking it and leaving Hyungwon out in the hall alone. He pounds on the door, crying and pleading with you to let him say one more thing. You don’t let him in and shut your ears so you don’t hear him. Hyungwon, to no avail, continues to try. After a while he stops, dropping the necklaces onto the floor and sliding down against the wall beside your door, clutching his head and mumbling to himself that he’s an idiot, he’s such an idiot for messing up like this. On the other side of the wall, you sit and have your hands over your ears. Tears are staining your cheeks and you try to regain your breathing as you think that it’s over, it’s really over this time.
My first attempt at angst you guys!! Let me know how I did.
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