Jar of Emotions

Hey guys this is@Tayunnie here!! So every week each of our writers here at@kpopint is releasing one of their writings!!! Mine doesn't happen to be fanfiction but I have one I'm working on right now (its seventeen based so for all of you s look forward to it!) It's a bit long.... So grab a comfy pillow and I hope you enjoy!!

One beautiful morning, as flower petals floated through the air, a young woman woke up and was greeted by the morning rays of light. She woke up not knowing who she was or where  she was. She examined her surroundings and wasn’t surprised to see a book placed beside her on the lamp stand. It was a plain brown book on which a memo had been attached. She smiled for what felt like the millionth time as she read the memo: "Morning Jihye! This is your daily journal!" She picked it up, wondering what would be written inside. The leather felt warm in her hands, perhaps because of the sun’s rays, or perhaps because it felt comfortable in her hand, as if she had held it many times before. Photos, names, and events were all recorded on green memos, making the pages look like fields of grass. "May 24- ‘Today, I went to the park with Yoojin. The weather was amazing and on the ride there we chatted about life and sang songs together. Surprisingly, there weren't many people at the park so I got to dance and sing and play to my heart's content. The weather was so nice and the field was so lush and soft that we rolled down hills. It was amazing--I hope we can go again soon." Jihye skimming each page as she flipped through the pages, but she couldn't recall any of these events. She heard footsteps approach from behind when suddenly a blanket covered her head. "Guess who!" Jihye thought for a moment but had no idea of who it could be. "Um... Who is it?" "It's Yoojin of course, idiot," he joked, but his eyes showed flecks of disappointment. "Ah~ You're reading your journal? Did you see the one on February 13th?" Jihye shook her head. Yoojin moved to sit beside her on the edge of the bed and carefully turned the thick vellum pages. He finally arrived at a colorful two page display decorated with polaroids and glitter. "We celebrated my birthday, here at home, together. We tried to bake a cake but you, being the clumsy person you are, managed to spill flour everywhere and somehow drop eggshells into the batter. Phew... it was a mess and yet somehow, you managed to look beautiful covered in flour. At that moment I thought, ‘Wow, the person I love is a clumsy, energetic singing machine, who doesn't think ahead.’" Jihye playfully pushed him, "I thought this was going to be a cheesy speech about how wonderful I am but you're just making fun of me!" Yoojin leaned towards Jihye and continued, "But the person that I love is amazing at everything she does, sounds like a poet when she speaks, and has a heart large enough for the whole world." Jihye laughed softly at the serious expression his face held while saying those ridiculously cheesy things and said, "Stop it, that's so friken cheesy." She tried to push him away, but Yoojin caught her hand and covered her eyes.     She felt him gently tug on her to get up and he slowly lead her by the hand as she shuffled along. Although she couldn't see him, she felt his solid steps reverberate through the wooden floor and his lilting laughter made her smile. And so she trusted him and followed him through the halls. "Tada~" said Yoojin softly as he sat her down at the dining room table. A birthday feast had been prepared on the table complete with all of Jihye's favorite foods, all made by Yoojin. "Today’s your birthday! Happy birthday Jihye. I hope that today can be another happy day, and that we can make many more happy memories together in the future." Jihye was touched and hugged Yoojin. "I forgot my own birthday, but you prepared all of this for me. Thank you." Yoojin smiled brightly and kissed Jihye on the cheek. “Eat quickly so we can go. It’s your birthday so of course we’re going to go to your favorite place!” “Where are we going?” Yoojin tilted his head, confused by her response.  “You couldn’t have forgotten your favorite place,” Yoojin jokingly reproached. Jihye thought about it for a moment then shook her head while saying, “No, I really don’t know. Just tell me already~” Yoojin glanced at Jihye to check if she was joking. When he realized she wasn’t, he responded, “We’re going to the beach dummy. You love the beach.” Jihye, not noticing Yoojin’s creased eyebrows, exclaimed, “We’re going to the beach! We’re going to have so much fun!” Jihye was so excited that she started to list out things they would do once they got there.     Once they had finished eating breakfast, washing all the dishes and packing for the beach, Jihye asked Yoojin to help her pick out a dress. "Which one do you like better?" Jihye held up two dresses side by side and let Yoojin choose. He eventually chose the blue one. It was the kind of blue that's there for a second before day turns to night, and as the evening sky shifts into one of a clear night sky. The dress was speckled with white flowers as they fell from the white cherry blossom sleeves. Jihye went to change into the dress and came back out to where Yoojin was waiting for her with the car. The car was packed with all of their things, and so they set off for the beach. On the car ride there, as always, Jihye lowered all of the windows and shouted in excitement. There was not a single moment of silence during the thirty minute ride.     "Wow, it's the beach!" As soon as Jihye saw the outline of the ocean against the horizon she asked Yoojin to stop the car and bounded out. Yoojin chuckled and followed her after parking the car. "Come on Yoojin, hurry up!" Jihye pouted but continued to twirl and dance on the warm golden sand. Yoojin took his time carrying all of their stuff to the beach, "You go first, I'll catch up later."     Jihye really liked the beach. She didn't have a particular reason as to why she enjoyed it so much, she just did. The feeling of water trickling through your toes and the feeling of sand tickling your toes as it followed the waves. The way the seagulls aggressively took people's food, and the noisy children screaming on the beach. Jihye loved it all. "Yoojin, hurry up! Look at the water!" Jihye was jumping up and down barefoot like a little child. Yoojin laughed and headed over to where Jihye stood. They watched the water as it played around their ankles before Jihye started talking. "You know, this blue is a color you can only find in this exact moment." Yoojin tilted his head and continued listening. "The blue of the ocean mixed with undertones of green. And then there's the sun's rays and the shifting sand that makes this amazing color that can only be seen in this moment." "Then this is one special color." They held hands as they watched the sunlight shimmer on the surface of the rippling tide. "But the fact that I'm with you makes this even more special." "Wow, I didn't know you had thoughts as deep as this." Yoojin grinned as he saw Jihye's face turn into a pout. "Hey, I shouldn’t be treated like this, I'm the birthday girl!" Yoojin rubbed his hands together and faced towards the sky, "Oh heavens, if there are any gods out there please forgive me. For I have fallen in love with a person who has no sense of humor--" "Hey!" "Please! Forgive my foolishness!" "You little!" Jihye started to chase after Yoojin yelling, "Did you just say I had no sense of humor? Come here you!" She grabbed onto the ends of his shirt and turned him around to face her. "Why is Swiss cheese the pope's favorite cheese." Yoojin stared at Jihye's stoic face, wondering whether jokes could get any worse. "Because it's hole-y." "Oh. You're good at this." "I think you're just bad." "Okay, okay I get it." Jihye rolled her eyes, and they walked to their blanket to eat lunch. They finished eating and played in the water, and sooner than they wanted it to, the sky had turned into a magnificent fire for the sunset.     They sat down on the sand, the wind breezing over them, and again watched the waves glide back and forth. They listened to the swoosh of the water on sand, and the cries of seagulls soaring through the air. They sat side by side and watched the sun slowly disappear over the horizon. Jihye, resting her head on Yoojin's shoulder, said, "This day, with me, the beach, and the sunset, don't forget it." "Never. I won't forget it. Ever." "I'll remember it too. It'll be my best birthday ever." As they made this promise under the darkening sky, of the two people silhouetted on the beach, one was extremely happy, while the other, also happy, felt a twinge of melancholy. The ride back home was quiet. They held back their words as they tried to preserve every single second of their quickly fading memories. They went over every detail of the day and saved it so that they could take it out and revisit that day again and again in the same magnificence and beauty of today. But memories are not like photographs. They are constantly changing as people forget and with every touch, the memory is molded anew like fresh clay. Every single emotion, feeling, and scent contributed to the endless memories that had already slipped through their fingers. They grasped at all of these things but came back empty handed in their attempts to create an untainted memory. Memories hold meaning and that meaning can make a person. But what happens when people lose all of that? What makes up a person’s identity if they don’t have their memories?     "Huh? What's this?" Jihye lifted a jar of sand as she unpacked their bags. "Sand." "Well yea I figured that much, but why? Why did you bring something so useless?" Yoojin pouted and snatched the jar from her, "Well it's important to me. All of the memories of today are stored in this jar." Jihye laughed at Yoojin's cute pouting face and gently took it back from him. "Aww, you're such a child. Alright, we'll keep it, but if you spill it I'm throwing this and you out alright? Where do you want me to put this?" "Can we put it in our room?" "Mhmm. Here, you go put it away." Yoojin took the glass jar as Jihye continued to unpack. By the time they finished unpacking their things, sweeping up the invasive sand, and eating a simple dinner, it had become dark and time for them to sleep.     As Yoojin set up the bed he called for Jihye, "Hey! Come here, let's write a memo for today." "The green memos?" "Mhmm, the ones we write everyday," Yoojin handed Jihye a leafy green colored sticky note. "Like the ones in that book?" "Exactly. I'm going to go brush my teeth so start without me alright?" Yoojin kissed her forehead and left the room. Jihye dragged the brown book into her lap. She started reading previous entries in order to figure out how she had formatted them. But by the time Yoojin had returned to the room Jihye's expression had changed from the content one she had before. She was flipping through the pages quickly as if she was looking for something. When Yoojin sat next to her he held her hands and asked, "What's wrong?" But he already knew what was wrong from the hitch in her breaths and the tears in her eyes. He knew exactly why. Some days were fine, painful, but a dull pain. Other days were outright heart wrenching. Today seemed to be one of those days. A day where they would fall asleep crying, either out loud or on the inside. Yoojin hugged her as she silently sobbed in confusion and fear. "I wrote all of these memos, every single word and letter. But why don't I remember it? I can’t remember writing them and I can't remember the events that I've written down. Why can't I remember any of this?" Jihye pushed out of Yoojin's embrace leaving him cold and alone on the side of the bed. "Why can't I remember anything, Yoojin?! Why! Answer me! You should know why even if I don’t!" Jihye shouted at him, but these were not the same shouts of excitement from their car ride to the beach. These were shouts of anguish and fear and confusion. These were shouts overflowing with sadness and distrust. "Tell me Yoojin. Why can't I remember any of these memories. Why don't I have any of these happy and sad and painful but beautiful memories." In the darkened room, the moonlight reflected off of her face showing the shimmering tears that streaked her cheeks. Cheeks that just a few hours ago were flush with happiness. Now they were pale and cold with uncertainty. The darkness embraced the two people's hearts, isolating them from each other and creating distance; but it wasn't necessarily cold, just sad. Pure sadness ran in the ridge between them. Yoojin swayed from side to side on the bed. Jihye saw his lips move but couldn't hear his words. He couldn't make the words come out of his mouth. He swallowed the sadness blocking his voice and spoke, "It's- You have Alzheimer's--" The silence that followed that word was incomplete. To them, their world had stopped, but they could clearly hear the rustling of leaves and cars driving past from outside their window. Such a drastic thing had happened, but the world continued on without them. "Then... Everything I've done. I won't remember any of it. I won't be able to remember all of the amazing things I'll do in the future." Yoojin continued swaying on the bed. "Then today. The cake from the morning, the songs we sang in the car, the time we spent at the beach. I won't remember any of that?" Yoojin shook his head as if trying to rid himself from a nightmare. "And our promise? Our promise to remember today forever and ever? I won't remember that either? And you made that promise knowing I wouldn't be able to keep that?" Yoojin looked up at her, as if startled like a deer in headlights, and spoke. "Even if you didn't remember wouldn't you know? Wouldn't your heart know? Wouldn't it remember the happiness you felt today?" "I can't live off of that hope. I'm going to make myself remember. I'm not writing this note. I don't need to. Because tomorrow morning, I'll remember this day." And so the day ended as they slept side by side but feeling oceans apart. One beautiful morning, as flower petals floated through the air, a young woman woke up and was greeted by the morning rays. She woke up not knowing who she was or where she was. She looked around her surroundings and caught sight of a book places beside her on the lamp stand. It was a plain brown book on which a memo had been placed. The memo read, "Good morning Jihye. This book is a journal of your life." Jihye took the book into her lap but didn't open it, instead she tentatively reached out for the glass jar that stood beside it. It sparkled in the morning sun and it was filled to the top with sand. For some reason, Jihye felt extremely happy when she held the jar in front of her, but she didn't know why she was happy and felt sad because of that. The bed shifted as someone behind her sat up on the bed. "Jihye, are you alright? Are you crying?" This person then got out of bed and walked over to sit beside her. He saw what she was holding and hugged her, resting his head atop her's. Jihye felt tears on her head and looked up at him and asked, "I don't know why I'm crying, do you know why you're crying?" He just shook his head and laughed under all of the tears, "I think we've just caught a jar of emotions." The tears fell onto Jihye's leafy green memos, making it look like flowers blooming in the morning sun.

Is everyone alive? I hope the length didn't deter you! It's quite long...

Please comment what you thought below!

This belongs to@Tayunnie so please don't repost or translate without my permission

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