The Flame to My Candle: Dream entry #2 Bewhy


Dream entry #2: Okay, this by far has been one of the saddest dreams I've had for a long time. Especially since it's of Korean music artist it made it more weird because even when my dreams about them are angst it turns into fluff later on in the story. This one is absolutely different. Also, this person I dreamed of is a person I didn't really pay attention to much nor I have i listened to him other than show me the money but I’ve been slacking on keeping up with the show. Also, I’m not sure if it was Bewhy or Oh Hyuk from hyukoh. The person looked like Bewhy but when I scrolled down my Instagram and saw Oh Hyuk I was confused. It made more sense if it was Bewhy because the people in the dream was the team he chose on SMTM. ( if I remember correctly) Then again if it was Oh Hyuk then it would be understandable why I would dream of him because I simply love him and hyukoh. So let me try to explain the dream before I get into the parts that stood out to me / the story dialog ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` I don't necessarily remember how this dream started but from what I can remember: I was sitting in the front room of my house. Strangely, my granny wasn't there ( she sleeps in the front room) nor anybody in that matter. I remember opening the door and my mom, Jay Park, Simon, my aunt, and Bewhy walked through holding candles. I was confused yet in the dream it seemed like a normal occurrence. You could tell I was sad but I kept it in. I looked around the room looking at sad yet happy faces. My eyes landed on Bewhy and my heart began racing yet clenching at the fact that this would be the last time I’ll ever see him. I regret that I never gotten the pleasure to tell him my feelings because that would've sped up his time to go. His face was surprisingly calm, as if he had accepted his fate. It made my stomach knot up. I was clearly uncomfortable with this whole ordeal but yet I happily listened to their stories of life. The only one who kept to himself was Bewhy. He just sat there with no signs of expression. “ Well, since we only have a few hours left do anyone have anything they want to say to Sasa or tell them their wish?” my mom asked. The room automatically looked to Bewhy and he continued to keep his mouth shut.  I don't know why but my heart clenched when he just looked away. “ Im sad I never got the chance to actually get to know you the way I wanted but since it's in their will i don't regret doing this for you. so I have nothing to wish for.” Jay said as his hand fidget a little. His face carried a smile but I could tell he was scared. “ I agree with Jay. I didn't get the chance to befriend you as long as the others who are here but Im happy that I met you.” Simon chimed in. “ T-Thank you all for the kind words …but…” My eyes automatically looked at my mom and Bewhy. Tears began to fall as I remembered why they are here. I would never see them again and that fear punched me in the heart. “ I- I can't do this. Im sorry …” I quickly ran off to my brother's room where he used to sleep but he also disappeared because of this predicament. I sat in the corner of the room trying to dream of another place where these candles didn't exist. A few minutes later I can hear the door open and footsteps walking my way. I reluctantly looked up to see that same expressionless face. “ We are doing this to keep you alive. We are doing this because we care about you so why are you so sad? You should be happy that we want to share our last moments with you.” “ D-do you guys really have to do this? I’ve already seen too many deaths already…. But this one…. I don't think I can handle it.” I said barely above a whisper. “ It’s the only way. “ Bewhy said. “ Why is this the only way to protect me? If that's the case i should've died already. Why kill off so many people for just one?!  I don't want to lose any of you. Why?” I cried. “ Sasha -” “ No, I don't want this. You guys shouldn't want this! Just kill me already.” I cried harder. “ “ Sasha,what's gotten into you this year? You usually look at this indifferently.” he said while keeping that same expressionless face. For some reason I couldn't look at that face directly. It made me feel even more horrible. “ How can anyone feel okay with this?” I looked at him. “ You just have to” he shrugged. “ What do you even mean? How can I live with myself knowing the most important person in my life is dying and the person I fell in love with is dying with her!? Tell me how!? How could I live with myself without you?” for the first time his expressionless face turned into a shocked one. I couldn't face him anymore so I began to walk out the door but I was stopped and was suddenly embraced into a back hug. I officially broke down as he held me. “ I was trying to hold it in so you wouldn't get hurt. I didn't want to say it. Why did you say those words?” he cried into my shoulder. “ Im sorry…” was all I could mutter. He held tighter onto me as we stood there then he let go of me. My heart literally broke in a million pieces when he walked out the door without saying a word. *10 minutes past* * door opens* “ Sasha…. How about we make the next few hours a good memory. I want to leave knowing I at least got to show you what you mean to me….” he said walking towards me with a bitter smile painting his face. “ If we do i might not be able to handle you leaving even more.” “ But it's your job to hear my last wish and this is it. I want to spend my remaining time with you as your man.” he said taking my hand in his. I nodded sadly as I let him pull me into a hug. As he wished we did things as if we’ve been together for years. We played around listening to music, cuddled, and whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears as if it would last forever. Sadly, it couldn't and it tore me up inside as we laid together looking at each other. “ I know this is too late to confess my feelings to you but I want you to know I don't regret doing this for you. I love you so much and if it means giving up my life for you then I will. I love you.” he caressed my face as tears fell from both of our eyes.   The words I love you were repeated like a spell . In hopes that this would last but knowing in a couple minutes his candle will go out. “ It’s time guys.” Jay said while  opens the door. I looked at him in fear not letting Bewhy go. “ I have to go. You gotta let me go Sasha…… “ he slipped from my grasp. “ No no no no wait don't . Please don't. “ I plead and plead but he place his candle by mines and headed down the basement. “ Mom! Please don't leave me too!! Stop it!” “ It’s the only way. I was already on my way out the door anyways. Don't be sad and just remember us in our most happiest times. You must stay alive…. We love you. “ she walked down the basement also. “ Wait….” I heard Bewhy scream. Suddenly he ran up the stairs and looked me into my eyes. “ I love you so much.” he tilted my chin up and kissed me deeply. The desperateness and sadness was all in this one kiss that felt like it lasted an eternity but eternity wasn't enough. He let go me go and i watched as his sad shoulders drooped while he walked to his fate. *black out* The only thing I remember is hearing gunshots and looking at their candle blow out as mines grew stronger. I cried so hard as I went to see what was left of them but they all disappeared.  Like all the other people the years before. When the clock strike 12 on new years they all disappeared.   ~~~~~~~~ I legit woke up crying. That dream was too real from the tears to the small touches of his skin. I felt so heartbroken even though it was just a dream. Im sorry I couldn't describe it as well as i saw it but I think you could understand why I was so sad after seeing this dream. Like what the actual fuck brain.


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