Idol Worship Part 21



“Let’s go dancing!”

You look up in shock at Angeline, “What?!?”

“Dancing! It always cheers you up and I know you haven’t been dancing since you got to my place, you need it – let’s go.”

You sort of just look at her in shock, then mutter, “Now?”

“Of course now! When’s a better time? If I leave it til tomorrow you will just come up with an excuse before I get home to cancel on me. We both know the clubs are still open, come on!”

You glance down at your watch, “It’s 10:30 at night”.

“So?!? When did you turn into a fuddy duddy on me?? Go get changed, we’re leaving in 15 minutes,” she comments as she grabs her phone and bounces off the couch towards her room.

You sit there for a bit more and then hear, “Get off the couch or I’ll take you looking like that!”

Rolling your eyes you pick up the letters and head to the spare room to see what you could possibly wear to go clubbing.

Angeline pokes her head in the door to make sure you were getting dressed. With a small smile she sends a quick text, “It’s a go! 30 minutes!”

The place is hopping when you arrive around 11:00 pm. You haven’t been clubbing in over 10 years. Where you currently live doesn’t support night life and honestly, you don't have a desire to be out and about at all hours of the night anymore. You have become a hermit, on purpose, and around this time of night you're usually either reading or writing.

“You grab a table, I’ll get us some drinks!” Angeline yells over the crowd. You nod and head towards the tables that surround the dance floor.

Angeline bops over to the table, way too happy after the long day you knew she’d had. You're beginning to seriously wonder what you're doing here. You know she's a social butterfly, always has been. Most everything you’d ever done was because she had pushed you to join her.

You start to notice that her gaze keeps going to the door every few minutes. Yep, she's up to something.

“What did you do?” you accuse her.

“What do you mean? I brought you dancing!”

“Then let’s go dance,” you comment as you try to grab her arm and remove her from the table.

“NO Wait!” she screams and pulls you back down to the table. She hurriedly picks up her drink, “I want to finish my drink first.” She takes a few swallows, then places it back down with a smile on her face.

You turn to see who she's smiling at and recognize her friend Soohyuk; and right behind him, Tong. You'd forgotten that he and Tong were best friends and that Angeline and Soohyuk hung out a lot. You turn back to her in despair and she gives you a pleading look.

“Please just hear him out, for me.”

You look down at her hand on your arm, closing your eyes at how cleverly you'd been maneuvered by your sister. As you nod your head, she jumps up, and grabs Soohyuk by the arm, “Let’s dance!”

He nods to you, smiles at Angeline and follows her to the dance floor.

Tong stands by the table waiting for you to acknowledge him. When you glance up he motioned to the chair,

“May I sit down?”

You nod, suddenly more nervous than angry and more afraid of all the ways you could mess this relationship up more.

He looks around the room. It's not the best location to have a serious conversation; not the greatest of places to even hear each other, but it's his last chance, If this doesn’t work he has nothing.

He reachs over and touches your hand, “Come with me so we can talk?”

You nod and follow him as he heads up the dark staircase in the corner. It leads to enclosed lounges with big windows to look down onto the dance floor. The music is more muted and you can see couples sitting together talking. He pays the cover charge and pulls you over to a couch against a wall.

“I’m not sure how to say, what to say, but I do know that I want your forgiveness for my inactions... No, I need your forgiveness,” he clarifies.

You don’t know what to say, or what to do so you simply tell him “okay”, even though it seems insufficient.

He reaches over and lifts your chin with his finger until your gaze met his.

“Do you remember the interview on Skype where you asked me about my inspiration for my career?”

You nod, already knowing what he's going to say.

“You,” he continues. "you were my inspiration. I didn’t know who you were when you asked me that question. I just knew there was something familiar about you. When your group debuted I was still a trainee with another company. We had hit a rough patch and all our hopes were starting to fade away. One day I heard about this amazing new female group that was just debuting; how all the women were hot and a couple were from the States. I was a 15 year old hormonal boy, most females to me were hot,” he smiles, “however, you weren’t hot, you were more.”

He drops his hand from your chin and takes both of your hands in his. He bows his head for a moment as if choosing his next words carefully.

“More...more energetic than I had ever seen, more into the music, and more talented than I ever felt I could be.”

He stops you from saying anything, “Let me finish. You captured me and I was lost but found at the same time. I had to become better, I had to try harder. I was determined that one day after we debuted that I could convince you to collaborate with me. I researched anything and everything there was on the internet about you and your sister, I played your music constantly when I wasn’t learning my own.”

He lets out an embarrassed sigh.

“To say it was a shock to me, to find out who you really were is a slight understatement. I think I knew; well, my heart and soul knew because I felt it. I just couldn’t get my mind to accept it. Then, to have all those personal feelings and actions I had had over the years come forth from a jealous little pipsweak ... I was dumbfounded. I was more worried of what you would think of me when you figured out that I had been talking about you in the interview than I was paying attention to the blatant disrespect from Reef. I have been selfish. I have not proven myself a man to you as I had hoped. I have not only failed you but also myself and my group for not acting like a man instead when the time was called upon me.”

You've never been so thankful for the darkness that surrounds you. You aren't quite sure you could handle him seeing you cry after his wonderful words.

It's your turn to reach over and lift his chin and meet his eyes with a watery smile. You move your hand over to his cheek, rubbing your thumb back and forth. He turns his head and kisses your palm, acknowledging your forgiveness.

“Thank you Noona.”

After a few minutes he speaks again, “I would like to see where we could take a relationship if you would be willing? I know I shouldn’t dare to ask so quickly after receiving your forgiveness, but the question burns through me at all hours.”


“No," he puts his finger over your lips, "don’t answer me yet, think about it for a bit. For right now, dance with me?”

As you agree he pulls you up and the two of you head back downstairs to the main floor.

A whole new level of pain has entered your chest, how are you going to tell this beautiful man that you're leaving and heading back home in less than week?

He finds a spot on the floor and you join the crowd. Most idols know how to dance and many make fun of the way that Tong does, calling it derpy. As you watch him with a secretive smile, you realize it isn't derp, its him. It's how he interprets the music and while different, it's beautiful at the same time. You let the music wash over you and heal the hurts of the previous two weeks. When it changes to a slow song, he pulls you close.

Every sensory nerve in your body is now on high alert. The warmth of his body pressing against you has you closing your eyes and resting your head on his chest. As you take in his scent, it's musky and woodsy; and so heavenly you about purr. You really hope you didn’t purr, that would be terribly embarrassing. Since you don’t feel laughter in his chest you assume you didn't. You could stay in his arms forever. Every fear you've had has dissipated and the only thing left to feel is comfort and safety.

You want this just as much as he does; do you have it in you to return to the states when the man you've secretly longed for wants you as much as you want him?

He feels your body tense at the questions running through your mind. He leans down and whispers in your ear, “You’re thinking too hard Noona, relax.”

Those words do little to relax me, in fact they have definitely the opposite reaction. His warm breath tickling your ear, his 5 o’clock shadow scratching against your face and your pulse decides it's time to dance a jig. Can he feel how much your heart rate has jacked up at this moment? How you are now so keenly aware of him that it's almost painful?

His hand comes up to cup your cheek; his thumb rubbing across your jaw as he lifts your head so that your lips meet his. He brushes his lips over yours, very lightly, almost questioning and when you respond, his hand moves to the back of your head and he deepens the kiss.

Well, this is different. You know he is a highly private man. The fact that he is kissing you in a public place, especially with your past scandal; sends your head reeling.

When he breaks the kiss, he puts his forehead to yours and you return to swaying to the music.


Older KPOP'er, Music Fanatic, Writer
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