I'm pretty sure that we've all had those days where we wish that everything was better so that WE could live better. It's almost like a sad trilogy of a story, nothing too erotic or synchronic. It's all just in our heads and there's nothing we could do about it. My name is Mark. I'm 22 years old and if you can tell I also have Cyclothymia disorder or to be more specific; Bipoloar Disorder just like YoungJae. I've been diagnosed with disorders such as, behavioral, psychological, and mania disorders. I've been to a few theraphists but all they seem to ask you questions that don't even contribute to the theme of my story or what I have to say so that they'd stop asking me useless and stupid questions. I guess you could say I am related to Youngjae as I am his cousin. We both got a pretty messed up life and I guess you could say will never be fixed.
The theraphist said that I needed to take my medications and believe it or not I actually do. I want to feel and get better. I want to be able to smile and not just stand there looking completely soulless. Everyday I wake up feeling weird or the need to throw up, so I do. Even though sometimes I don't want to. For some reason I feel a little bit better, a sence of relief I guess, after I do what I do..... I would feel kind of happy to be exact. There are often times when I would stare at food and feel sick, so I end up not eating it. It's nerve wrecking for some people but really I'm ok. There's nothing to worry about because I'm getting treatment.
How do I know Youngjae? well I met him while walking around the hospital. He is a very quiet kid; always staring around but there are those times where he has his episodes. The doctors have had to tie him to a medical bed that day. I remember him yelling that he wanted to meet Satan or whatever; something about asking him a few questions and whatnot. His condition has been said to not be severe given the fact that he's slowly recovering. When he isn't having episodes he's mostly quiet and serious but he seems normal-
( Like, Human you mean?)
Yeah.. he's human. I'm not better than him in recovering. Those stupid meds seem to not work so I gave up on them. I don't even care what the theraphist says anymore.
(But you said that you do take them... where you lying to us?)
I wasn't lying when I said that I them.... I just don't do it as often as I am supposed to. I would usually take one, like, once a month or something- I don't know- I forget when I take them.
(You seem like you can take your anxiety and disorders as if they were normal. Is that something you'd like to talk about?)
Are you ever gonna be done asking me questions? like seriously I just want to sleep so please leave me alone. I've answered enough questions already.