Beginnings have always been extremely difficult for me so i usually take my time before starting something so i can only imagine how hard it will be to get the courage to ask you out for the first time when we actually do meet. There probably will be several first dates before we find each other. I just hope and pray that neither of us "settle" for each other. If i do fall for you then i would like it to be real...

However i am coming to realize that "real" is not what I've watched in movies and read in novels. But knowing what real is not does not mean i know what it is... I hope i'll know because of you. How you make me feel. Well doesn't that add a lot of pressure on your part! Ha! But no, there will be no pressure because i do not plan on showing you any of these until we're too close that you can't leave me because i'm an emotional human being.

So i as start this journey, not knowing what i am going to type or why, i hope i can be totally honest. Honest about myself and all of my varying emotions. My current lifestyle and experiences. I don't think this will prove anything to you, perhaps i am writing to you because i feel better when i'm writing to someone as opposed to just writing. I also hope i don't forget about this or give up half way. I love you,

Signed N.M.D

I love you,

these words are hard to say now

for i know not their meaning.

I love you,

these words are hard to say now for i know their meaning. I feel their meaning. It hurts when i say them but it's a pain i'd rather not stop. Once i start, i don't want to be silent. I want you to hear my heart beat as i whisper them, my fearful heart crying "don't leave!"

My excited heart screaming "you're great!"I feel several things at once,but i like that i can feel. You're never too young or too old to love.

I wonder how often i'll write now that i'm more open to love.More open but still afraid. Bravery, however, is not the absence of fear but the ability to overcome it.Let me love you.

Let me overcome my fear.

Let me be yours till death do us part.

Let me be yours till we're one.

Let me be yours till long after we've made another one.

Let me over come my fear.

Let me love you.

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