Save me before I fall, Save me from myself.
I don't want to be lonely.
I want to taint you, pluck those beautiful petals of yours and let you wither like my heart.
Why, why was she there? Why did she have to see us, why did I care if she did?
My thought ran miles around my head. I was so lost and confused by my own emotions, I didn't even know when I got home or realized that I was home. Suzy kissed me, bring me back to now. I stepped back and she looked at me puzzled, but tried to kiss me again. I stepped to the sides and walked to my couch, letting myself fall on to it. Suzy made a sound of annoyance, before walking up to me and sitting on my lap.
"You've been funny since we saw that girl...who is she?" She asked as she unbuttoned my shirt, slowly. I didn't answer.
Why did I grab her hand? Why didn't I want her to leave? Why do I feel so hurt? So mad? So confused?
"Yoongi ah? Yoongi?..*sigh*" She grabbed my face forcing me to look at her.
"I want to forget, help me forget." She brought her face up to mine, her lips an inch away from mine. It hurts.
"Make me forget." She kissed me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
I want to forget. I let Suzy do what she wanted with me. I let her take my clothes off, I let her feel my body, I let her kiss me. I let her forget, while I still felt.
Suzy and I went at it a couple of time. She stayed the night and decided it was time for her to go the next morning. She left me there, in my own home, once again. She left me with pain in my heart. Knowing she will never be mine and she knew what I wanted. Suzy uses me for her own needs, for distraction, and to get back at her boyfriend.
2 hours after she left, I was laying on my bed when my phone went off. I let it go to voice mail. It rang again, I ignored it. On the 3rd call I answered right as I heard a knock on my door.
"Hello?" I said as I got up off my bed and head towards the door.
"YOONGI! My boyfriend is pissed off right now, he believes I was with you, cheating on him!" She sounded anxious, worried, scared.
"And? It's true isn't it?" I responded as I unlocked my door.
"No..urgh! The thing is he left angrily!" She yelled, frustrated. "He's head to your place!"
"What?" I didn't get a chance hear her next response because as soon as I opened the door, a fist greeted my face.
Suzy boyfriend was at my door and he punched me in the jaw. I stumbled back and caught myself. He stormed in and grabbed my shirt. He started yelling and cursing over and over as he punched, kicked and threw me around my house. I didn't fight back. I felt numb, like a robot. I deserve this, it's what I get...
I had no idea how long I had been laying on the floor and how long it had been since Suzy's boyfriend left. I stood up as slowly as possible, feeling pain everywhere. I wiped my mouth that was bleeding and turned around my room. Rage filled me and I started to screaming, breaking my things, throwing them around.
I want to forget the pain in my heart. I wished I could have said no, I wish to leave this toxic relationship. I want to go back to that night, the night I was able to forget it all. The night I saw a beautiful rose. Yes, I want to go back and forget....I want to forget...
I started to remember my past and a darkness formed inside me. Images of my father and mother danced inside my head. I felt warm liquid slide down my cheeks. I want to forget, I want to forget!