I have been thinking a lot about unconditional love lately, mostly because someone has implied that I do not love my husband unconditionally. Just because my husband and I are separated, does not mean that we do not love each other unconditionally. It is easy to confuse unconditional love with unconditional acceptance. A person who loves unconditionally, loves regardless of behavior, personality, and so on. But that does not mean that they have to accept the behavior. Let me demonstrate. A husband becomes physically abusive. The wife loves him unconditionally, even though he is abusing her. However, that does not mean that she has to unconditionally accept the abuse. She can leave or seek support. Another example. A parent loves their child, even when they learn their child has committed murder. That does not mean the parent had to accept the behavior of that child; the parent can turn the child over to the police, still loving their child despite his/her crime. Unconditional love and unconditional acceptance are not intertwined-- a person is under no obligation to accept the behavior of another, no matter how much they accept the person for who they are. Look, I still love my husband. The bitterness of past deeds does not change the fact that i love him. Loving another man would not even change the fact that I love him. And I know that at his core he is a good person, despite what he has done. I know that he can be a loving, gentle man...we had that for years. But something changed between us, and we just don't fit right anymore. I don't want to change him...don't want to force an unnatural compatibility. I would have adapted for him, if I knew what it was I needed to change, but who knows what is different now? So, for us, it is better at this point to go back to just being good friends. It works for both of us. There is peace between us, and I hope he finds someone that fills his life again. I don't know how *you* define unconditional love, but to me...unconditional love is loving someone exactly how they are, no matter how far away you love them from. Love is meant to bring out the best in people; it is not to bring out the worst in them and accept that as the best they have to offer the world. Yes, I make light of my situation at times. I undersell the devastation I have experienced. No one wants to be miserable all the time, though. And I have so many reasons to not feel or act like this is the end of the world. So, I no longer care if anyone judges me harshly...I know that I have made the right decisions for me, and that's all that matters. You're not living my life, so your criticisms mean nothing to me.