Rant to come because I can't seem to make him understand: It takes me forever to fall asleep at night, and when everyone asks me why I say that I don't know. But it's no mystery to me. I know what's running through my head but I don't know how to make it stop. I know I am doing this to myself. I just can't let things go, but I don't think I should have to so soon. I just wish I could sleep. I am tired of tossing and turning and imagining you saying my name. I don't think I have ever heard you say my name. How did you never say my name? I guess I should have known. I shouldn't have expected any less of you. What am I to you? I was there. Nothing more and nothing less. And there's nothing wrong with that, that was all you were to me at the start, but I couldn't get enough of you while you were just playing games. A break until after break, I guess? Tell your girl back home that I said hello and don't forget to cut the crap when you get back. I don't know what you want because you won't tell me, but I won't lose sleep over you forever so you better make up your mind. I'll see you tomorrow Caleb, every Monday and Wednesday as usual, but after that you have a week without seeing me and being reminded of how bad you feel for everything you've done to me and how you've made me feel.