Here is an entry for the ikon. community. I hope you like it.
I sit here looking at photos of those I miss back in the states. Not just my family but those of my best friends, and especially her. A barely audible sigh leaves my lips. I set my phone down and get up. I need to take a break from staring and from the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and sadness that I can not be with them for yet again another year. I really am trying hard to be in the holiday spirit but I just can’t seem to shake the feelings of longing, sadness and loneliness. I leave my room and my phone behind. I go and sit out in the common room and watch some tv with the boys. I sigh once I realize they have Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer on. “What’s wrong hyung,” Chanwoo asks. “Nothing. I swear I’m fine.” I answer, though I am definitely anything but fine. Of course watching one of the movies both you and I would watch. You are the complete opposite of me but I can’t help but try to bring you out in the world. If you had your way you would nothing outside that of your books and studies. Where as I was constantly bugging you to come and play and hang out. I don’t know how I ever got you to leave your room but once you did you sang, drew, painted, played video games with me. You were so good at everything but socializing outside your small circle. Oh and you were a terrible baker. Watching Rudolph without you just makes my wander to you once more. I came out to the common room so I wouldn’t think of you. I haven’t seen you in three years. My soul and heart are aching to see its other half. About another twenty minutes later I let out another sigh. “Seriously, Bobby, what’s wrong. That’s the seventh sigh you let out.” Hanbin states. I look at them shocked. I swear I didn’t let that many out. “I just…” I was interrupted by a knock on our door. June gets up and answers the door. As he comes back he has a big smile on his face. “I think I have the remedy to those sighs you been throwing out there,” he says. “What’s that,” the rest of the members and myself ask. “Go to the door and find out,” June smirks. We head to the door and on the other side of the door I hear familiar and not so familiar voices what sounds like Christmas Carols. I open the door and my face breaks into a wide smile and tears start streaming down my face. Standing there is my family and you but with a guy I do not know. My gut twists for a moment and jealousy rises. Mom pulls me in for a hug, then dad and my brother. I look at you and you look at me. “Bobby, where’s my hug? I haven’t seen you in 3 years do I not get a hug,” you cutely pout and open your arms. I walk into your warm embrace and feel tears drops hit my shoulder. “Shh, noona why you crying?” “I am so happy to see you,” she says with a smile and wipes her tears. “I am so happy to see you too but how?” ”Mom and Dad gave me two roundtrip tickets to here for my birthday and Christmas gift because they said they were tried of me moping about not seeing my best friend. So I asked Tim here to come with since he was homesick to see his Grandma.” Tim bowed to me and said hello politely. Then my mom speaks. “Yes, your father and I planned this with y/n parents as a surprise to both of you.” I wrap them all in a hug again. I introduced y/n to the other members. I didn’t know if I should be jealous of how much skinship y/n Tim shared. He kept holding her hand and hiding kind of behind her. He whispered something in her ear and she laughed really loud. “What’s so funny,” Jinhwan asked. She smiled and pushed Tim to speak. “Tim, speak I promise they won’t make fun of you.” “I sss..sssaid how sss...sssomeone lame like her make friendsss with you.” That’s how we noticed his lisp and stuttering problem. She rubs his back as she wipes the tears from her eyes from laughing so hard. “y/n is not lame,” I said. Then she burst out laughing harder. “Why are you laughing.” “Bobby, I am lame. All I do is study now. My life is writing papers upon papers and tutoring.” “Sssee ssshee’s a hermit. Once a week I drag her out of her ssstuding hole to go dancing,” Tim said. I turn to Tim and ask him, “So she doesn’t sing, write poetry, draw or paint, play video games, or read manga anymore?” “Ssshe hasssn’t done that sssince I’ve known her now for the passst four yearsss. I mean ssshe goesss caroling during the holiday ssseassson and we are going tonight caroling in my boyfriend’sss apartment building.” I turn to her shocked. She shrugs and says “Bobby I only did those things with you. You balance me out. You know I get tunnel vision and what to achieve my dream of becoming a pediatrician.” “But…” “Shh. Be quiet. I want to hang with you and your friends. This is why I am here to get in touch with my other side. Mom and Dad are worried I’ll have another mental breakdown like four years ago.” She pulls me and Tim by the arms and pulls us down on the couch with her. She starts spitting question after question to the guys. Getting to know them. Mom leans over and whispers in my ear, “She was being truthful, honey. Her parents are really nervous she will have a mental breakdown soon. You always forget you where the one that brought her out of her studying hole and made her play games with you. You are her lightness and air that she needs to be a whole picture and not just serious all the time.” I smile at my mom and make up my mind. “Y/n do you want to make a Gingerbread…” “Hush up, we will not talk of the disaster of the Gingerbread Fiasco of 2011.” “Ooohhhh, what’s this Fiasco, hyung,” Hanbin asked. Before I can speak she slaps her hand on my mouth. “No he was sworn to secrecy. If he reveals it I will reveal his deep dark past with Santa Claus.” I couldn’t help it I licked her hand. She took it off my mouth but then surprised me when she wiped it on my face. “Will you never learn. Keep your germs to yourself stank face.” I really laughed then. “I missed you.” “I missed you too. So do you want to go caroling with Tim and I to surprise his boyfriend?” She looked all around at the guys. “Only if we hear you sing a song first. We only sing with people that are talented,” June states. She starts belting out Deck the Halls and the boys mouths dropped. I just stood there entranced once again by her. “Why aren’t you a singer? You have an amazing voice,” Chanwoo says in awe. “I guess she’s ok,” June begrudgingly says. We head out to Tim’s boyfriend’s place. We sing along the halls and more and more people join in on the fun. We finally get to his boyfriend’s apartment and his boyfriend opens up the door and smiles with tears in his eyes. The reunion touches many people's hearts. Y/n leaves Tim with his boyfriend and returns back with me and the boys. Once inside the dorm again she pulls me to the couch. “Can we have a sleepover like old times?” As I am about to answer Jinhwan and Hanbin bring blankets and pillows out and make beds on the floor followed by the guys. Turn Christmas movies back on and she smiles. It lights up her whole face. “I guess that’s a yes. Bobby did you want your birthday and Christmas gift now.” “Yes,” I whispered. She leans over and kisses my cheek. “Sarranghae. I am moving to Seoul for School in about 3 months.” My eyes go wide as saucers. “Seriously?” “Yes. Tim and I both got accepted to school her for Medical programs. I was wondering since I’ll be here now, if maybe you still felt the same way four years ago before you left? I mean if you don’t I understand but when I am with you I feel completely and not so lame.” “Y/n, this is the best gift ever. Sarranghae. Always. Now it’s late and we know how I feel about Santa. I need to sleep so please sing me my favorite song.” She plays with my hair as we both stare up at the ceiling. She starts singing quietly. She starts to stop but the other boys “This is nice keep singing until you hear our snores. We had fun today. Thanks for making Bobby smile again.” She giggles a little but continues to sing softly til each of our eyes closes and snores were heard.