Time feels like it's fucking stopped. I feel like I've fucking stopped. I feel like I'll be sucked away by a black hole. I literally can't feel emotion right now. I'm just crying. I don't want to miss him, because what if I'll have to? If he'll quit music all together, if he'll stop MCing on ASC, if he'll just. Stop existing in the K-pop fandom. I'm so scared, I'm fucking terrified, that he won't continue being an idol. I'm fucking terrified that he'll delete his social medias. I'm terrified I won't ever get to see him again. I've never felt like this. Ever. I've never been this upset, scared, depressed, anything over anyone. Ever. I'm starting to think it'd have been better if I just brushed them off that one Christmas. I'm about to have to be his number 1 fan now. I'm gonna have to be. All those times I've said I'll come on top as his number 1 fan. I was serious. I'm gonna be his number 1 fan. Even after the world ends, even after we get sucked into the black hole in the middle of the Milky Way, if we don't get sucked into Andromaeda's first, even then. I'll still be here, supporting him, loving him. Today literally really does not feel real.