Be the Light


3 years. 3 years was all it took for him to fall out of love with me and run into the arms of another. She was prettier, funnier, and all over more attractive than me. He told me himself. “You just weren’t enough. Sorry, but I need you to move out by tonight.” So now here I am, no boyfriend and no home. I moved to Korea with him a year ago, thinking that he was going to be with me for the rest of my life. My parents lived too far away to move back with them, neither of us could afford the plane ticket.

I found my way to an ajumma’s food tent. I was now about 2 bottles of soju down and finally pulled out my phone to call someone to see if they could help.


“Kwonnieee~” I cooed.

“Where are you? Ryan told me you broke up with him and then you disappeared. Are you drunk?” He asked and I could hear the jingle of keys.

“Whaaaaat? He broke up with meeeee!” I exclaimed, causing the other patrons to glare at me.

“He said that you got into a big fight and you stormed out.”

“What a liar…”

“Listen to me. Where are you?”

“I wanna go home…” I hiccupped.

“Where are you?!” He exclaimed.

“Shhh! Don’t yell at me!”

“Okay, I’m sorry. But please tell me where you are so I can pick you up.”

“I’m by the park we would always hang out at.” I mumbled, feeling suddenly very aware off all the staring. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT?!” I yelled at them, causing them to scoff and look away. I sighed and stood up. Grabbing my purse and coat, I walked out of the tent and stared out at the dimly lit park as it started to rain. Memories of strolling through the park, hand in hand, flooded my memory. Ryan had family here so we visited several times. Each time, I couldn’t get over how gorgeous it was. I slowly made my way to a bench. Once I sat down, I noticed the spot where we made our mark on a tree. A small heart carved out of its bark. I closed my eyes and thought back through the last year.

When we first moved out here, we were happy as ever. We both found jobs quickly. We spent time with each other often. Then Ryan started staying late at work. I got fired from my job. We could barely afford rent. Then I got another job. I was a stylist for a company. We could afford rent again, but I was seeing Ryan less and less. It got to the point where he wouldn’t come home most nights. I knew something was up, but I didn’t want to assume the worst. He wasn’t the type to cheat. Until today, that is.

“Hey!” Yukwon’s voice rang out as I opened my eyes.

“Oh! Kwonnie!” I exclaimed, standing up and stumbling as my heel on my shoe broke. “Oh come on!” I yelled, tears pricking my eyes. Yukwon came over and laughed.

“You’re just having a bad day aren’t you? Let’s get you home.” He said, putting an arm around me and dragging me to his car. Tears immediately started to pour from my eyes.

“But I don’t have a hoooome!” I wailed, making the people in the food tent look over at me again, muttering to each other. “She took my home and my boyfriend! That evil wench!” I pulled away from Yukwon and grabbed my broken shoe, pulling it off and throwing it in the general direction of Ryan’s house. “You bastard!”

“Ok, ok, ok. You’re making a scene. Come on, let’s get to my car and talk about it there. You’re freezing.” Yukwon said, pulling me towards his car again. Once we got to his car, I just said in the seat and sniffled. Yukwon ran around to the driver side and quickly got in, reaching in the backseat and grabbing a blanket. He wrapped it around me after putting my seatbelt on, turning the heater on full blast.

“Kwonnie…what do I do now..?” I quietly asked. “…where do I go?”

“Let’s go to my house. We can figure this all out later. Ok?” He asked, to which I simply nodded.

I woke up on Yukwon’s couch with a raging headache. I groaned and sat up. Standing up, I looked at the time, seeing that it was 2 am. I made my way to the bathroom and grabbed aspirin from the medicine cabinet before going back into the living room and sitting down on the couch again. Looking at the coffee table, I saw a notebook sitting there. I sighed and put my head in my hands. I was homeless. I could stay with Yukwon for a couple days, I knew that. But I didn’t want to burden him.

I was glad that Yukwon was the one that I called. He was the only one I told about Ryan. He knew what Ryan was up to. I told him about the nights that he wouldn’t come home. The fact that I randomly got fired. He saw this coming, I guess.

“Oh when did you wake up?” I heard Yukwon’s voice say as the front door close.

“Oh..yeah.” I said, sitting up. “I figured you were asleep.”

“When my best friend just got broken up with? I’ve seen enough movies to know what girls usually do with their friends when they go through a break up.” He said, holding up a grocery bag. “Chocolate and ice cream!” I laughed weakly at him. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed spoons before sitting on the opposite side of the coffee table as me and handing me a pint of ice cream and a spoon. I slid down onto the floor to sit at the coffee table as well.

“What’s this?” I asked him, pointing to the notebook.

“Just random drawings and ideas for songs and such.” He said, shoving his spoon into his ice cream.

“Hmm.” I hummed, take a small bite of ice cream.

“So what happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

“He left me for one of the girls I used to work with. Really pretty.” I grabbed the notebook and started to look through it.

“There’s no girl prettier than you.” He said. I looked up at him and then hit him on the head with the notebook.

“Why are you so greasy?” I laughed.

“Why are you so beautiful?” He laughed. I rolled my eyes and continued flipping through the notebook. “So what are you going to do now? Like are you going to go back to your hometown?”

“No..I can’t afford a plane ticket.”

“Then are you going to find your own place?”

“We could barely afford the rent together.”

“Then what are you going to do?” He asked, putting his spoon down. I just shook my head and shrugged. “I’ll always be here for you.” He said as I came across a sketch of me in the notebook. Tears filled my eyes and dripped onto the paper. The next page was empty and I grabbed the pen next to me and quickly wrote down in the notebook.

“I need to tell you something, Yukwon..” I muttered as I wrote, “I’m not sure how to say this..” Once I finished writing the short note, I handed it to him then took another bite out of the ice cream. “I feel like I’ve lost everything..” Yukwon read the note then looked up at me and smiled.



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