Letter to the 23 year old you

I think I have to thank you for making me accept myself. I am finally able to look in the mirror and find myself pretty sometimes. Not at all times you know, but I have those moments when I feel confident. I still have a hard time accepting people's compliments, but deep inside, they make me feel so happy. I think all I needed was confidence. Confidence to smile and be proud of myself. And I think I have to thank you for that. You made the girl in front of you feel pretty for the first time in her life. Probably because you were the first to dare say you found me cute, that you liked my style... Those words hurt me since the day you said them, since the day I left because I feel like they were too easy for you to say. After some time, I felt like those words weren't only said to me, you probably used them a lot on girls. But I'm able to look back at how you made me feel, and how you changed me. How you made me see I was worth getting attention, how I could have attention. So, even though most of the times, those words hurt me, I'm glad I met you and that you said them to me. I wasn't ready at the time, to hear them, to react to them, and to do what you wanted me to do. I still regret having done nothing. I regret even though I know you're not for me. I regret not having done anything... I regret writing to you too late apparently. I regret getting disappointed in you. I met you again after one year... You didn't recognize me at first. I hope it was because I changed for the better in your eyes, I hope you found me pretty and I hope you think of me. But I doubt it. Highly. You probably met a pretty girl and you're thinking about getting her, your « doll ». And I wish you the best. I can't seem to forget about you. Is this an habit, thinking about you ? I hope I can finally forget you.

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