Jay's story Deliver me is almost done but it's still in the writing edit phase.
Who: Reader x Min Yoongi
Story: He doesn't see what's going on with you, how much you need him. He's just caught in his music.
Right on the ledge
This was it.
Your head whipped around, startled by the voice that came behind you, you saw Yoongi. Had you not been gripping the rail you would've fallen off already. Yoongi was out of breath. Namjoon stood behind him looking just as worried as Yoongi did.
"Y/n don't do it." he said.
"You shouldn't be here Yoongi." you said.
"Y/n stop it. Baby talk to me." he said.
"I've tried that, you don't hear me." you said starting to cry.
"I hear you- I hear you. Y/n I'm right here, it's me Yoongi. Not Agust D, not the guy in the magazines, I'm the guy you fell in love with please baby just talk to me. Come off the ledge please." he said coming closer to you.
You looked down at his feet feeling weaker now. You had tears running down your eyes.
"I could never explain how I feel to you. I'm just so tired of fighting it. Yoongi, I'm sorry but there's nothing left in me to continue living like this."
"JagiJagi- listen to me, we'll get you some help. I'll do whatever it takes please just don't give up. Listen to me I'm right here." he said.
"For how long?"
Yoongi looked at you troubled. He looked back at Namjoon. Namjoon looked just as tense as him given the situation you could understand.
"Your fans know I cut myself, they know about my first suicide attempt. Look where I am now Yoongi they're watching us. I've already caused so much trouble he for you just let me end this." you said.
You looked down at the people again more had gathered around. Who was it thinking that you were making a scene? Which one of them was telling you to jump. Which one said no one would care? All their voices stayed low to the ground but in your head they were loud, active and wouldn't settle.
Jump already, he's better off without you.
Look at you wanting so much attention, you're just selfish. Now everyone's eyes are on you. Look how worried Yoongi is, you've done so much to hinder him.
"Stop it! I'm not doing this for attention! I'm just-" you cried.
"I'm here baby. I'm here." Yoongi called to you.
"Let me go. Yoongi let me go." you cried.
He took in a deep breath.
"When you're sad and alone, call on me. I'll reach out and grab you. I'll save you from insanity. Whenever you look me in the eyes I see a world looking back at me. How did you become so beautiful I think that this maddening. How did I win such a treasure? I'll never let you go far from me. If you're jumping from this plane we'll go together babe. Just pull the string when you're ready I'll be your Parachute. When you feel like your falling, I'll be your parachute. I'll be your superman, faster than a bullet I'll grab your hand before you fall I'll never let you go again if you're jumping from this plane I'll be your parachute." he started rapping.
You looked back at him with tears in your eyes. Yoongi came closer and he cupped your face and kissed you.
"I've got you. I hear you baby. I see you." he whispered on your lips.
You nodded and attempted to come back over the railing when the bar snapped and you screamed as you began to fall.
"Y/n!" Yoongi yelled.....
*Six months earlier*
Maybe that's why he was burying himself in so much work. You had your sleeves rolled up and you were looking at scars you had now. Yoongi and you hadn't slept together in a while so he didn't notice them. Namjoon, one of Yoongi's friends, had seen them and he got really concerned about you. His concern only filled you with anxiety. You were always worried he'd say something to Yoongi. You didn't want to cause trouble for Yoongi. In all honesty, you were kind of glad he didn't have enough time for you. It was hard for you to get out if bed some days.
Your poker face was brilliant though, who would ever guess behind your sunny smile and positive attitude you were really worn down and depressed. You felt empty and alone even when you had people that loved you. It was something you couldn't explain, you had enough good things in your life that you shouldn't have been depressed but you were.
Depression didn't discriminate; it doesn't matter if you have absolutely nothing or everything at your finger tips. If it wants you it's going to consume you. It wasn't like this was the first time you were hit with depression either. Back when you were dating Park Jimin, you were hit with a sudden depression that drove you to end the relationship. He didn't want to let you go, he said he loved you and you loved him but there's was an enormous weight on your chest with him. You felt weighted down, you felt like you were going to weigh him down too. You had cut yourself back then too. The scars from that time had healed up mostly but now you had new ones.
You couldn't explain why you did it. It was like bringing the abstract to life though. What you felt on the inside you wore on your arms on the outside. However, in a fit of shame you quickly covered the scars and pretended they didn't exist. You pretended the pain wasn't real just an illusion. The same way you had to pretend that Yoongi's fans weren't killing you. You two worked closely with each other; you started getting to know each other. You liked each other. That didn't mean you were trying to become something more by being with him.
You honestly didn't know why they were hating on you so bad. You never made it seem like you were better than others. You had done everything right your whole life. You followed the rules, you graduated highest in your class, despite being a foreigner you spent a little more than half your life in South Korea. You went to school in Busan before moving to Seoul for your art career. With Yoongi blowing up as his rapper persona Agust D, you felt like you had met someone that matched you a little more. He was so passionate about his music you could hear it in his voice. Both him and Namjoon worked hard together to produce amazing music. Meanwhile, your passion for drawing was fading away. It probably connected with your depression as well.
You were going back and forth between sketching some dark figure that personified the intense aura that over came you and looking at your scars. You felt a little frustrated the more you looked at both and your hand moved faster and faster on the paper while you gripped the pencil harder and harder until it snapped in your hand. You looked at it and sighed. You placed the pad down and stood up to stretch. You walked into the bathroom and washed your hands. A pair of scissors sat on your sink and you looked at them. You felt weak to them, weak in spirit and in reason. The more you tried to find an explanation as to how you felt, the harder it was for you to describe it.
You looked at your wrist; you had cleaned the scars with witch hazel and then peroxide, they were healing nicely, for scars. You thought about how pointless it was.
It's not like anyone will notice Y/n. It's not like anyone cares. If you do it you'll feel better.
You were arguing with yourself in your head trying to come up with a reason not to do it but- you wanted some relief.
Just as you raised the scissors again though, you heard your front door open.
Namjoon's deep voice carried down the hall. A panic surged through you and without thinking you cut your hair to justify why you had scissors in your hands. Namjoon would freak out, he'd think you were cutting again. You could hear his footsteps down the hall as you watched your hair fall down. You cut in an angle with one side longer than the other. You stared in the mirror at what you had done. Your hair was cut into a bob but the back of your head needed to be fixed.
"Y/n?" Namjoon asked.
You turned around to look at him. He looked at your hair on the ground and you swallowed for a second.
"Hey Nam." You said.
He looked at the scissors in your hand and you hid them behind your back. He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
"Are you okay?" He asked, concern washing all over his face.
"Yes." You smiled.
"What made you cut your hair?" He asked.
"DIY on YouTube. Thought I'd try something new."
"Is Yoongi here?" He asked with caution.
"Yeah he's in his studio." You smiled.
"Have you talked to him about what's going on with you Y/n?" He asked.
"Nah, he's too busy. Agust D's schedule is pretty packed."
"Not this evening, maybe we should all hang out. Hoseok is having a party tonight, you should come."
"Yeah sure I just have to find something to wear first." You said.
"Why don't you hand me the scissors while you're at it?" He said.
You smiled and said,
"Namjoon I'm fine you don't have to baby me. I wasn't going to do it. I only cut my hair, now I have to get it fixed though."
"I'll call my stylist over to finish it but just let me have the scissors." He said.
You sighed and placed them in his hand.
"There worry wart. Your dimples are cute by the way." You said giggling as you passed him.
He grabbed your wrist and you looked back scared he'd seen the new ones there. He looked at you sadly,
"Why do you put up such a front? Yoongi would drop everything for you if you'd just tell him what's going on."
"I don't want to be a burden. He's building himself up. I don't want to be what drags him down." You said.
You slipped your wrist out of his hand and walked into the kitchen to keep yourself occupied. Namjoon took the scissors with him but he eyed you before he made his way to Yoongi's studio. You sighed and sat down at the table to lay your head down. Maybe you should've gone out and got some air. You drifted off to sleep though....
When you woke up, Namjoon was talking to a woman in the living room. You sat up and rubbed your eyes.
"Joon?" You questioned.
Namjoon and the woman looked over at you.
"Oh Ms. Hae Chan." You said.
You rolled down your sleeves and walked into the living room. Hae Chan was Namjoon's stylist. He was true to his word about calling her over to fix what you cut.
"Where's Yoongi?" You asked.
"He's still in the studio working on a track. We ordered food it should be coming soon." He said.
You nodded and Namjoon excused himself. Hae Chan started to set up so she could fix your hair.
"Did you want to keep the angled bob?" She asked.
"You can do what ever you like I don't mind. I just don't want it too short."
"I heard you guys are going to a party."
"Maybe." You whispered.
"Why maybe?" She asked.
"Yoongi's always working. I doubt he'll stop to go to a party." You said softly.
"That's exactly why he needs to go to a party, everyone needs some time to relax." She said.
"Hae Chan are you going?" You asked.
"No I'm not I have a little affair of my own to attend. Don't worry though, I'll doll you up so that everyone has eyes on you, including Yoongi." She said.
You smiled with a small nervous chuckle. You didn't want to tell her you didn't want to be noticed. That just opened up the conversation as to why you were feeling how you were feeling. It came in waves, you weren't always over whelmed with depression. Sometimes you got relief and enjoyed days and nights and fell in love with the world and enjoyed the atmosphere. Today you just weren't entirely like that. You didn't have much relief.
It didn't take her long to style your hair since you'd done most of the cutting, she just evened out some parts and then she curled your ends in. She added some spray and fluffed up your hair. When you looked in the mirror, you smiled at the results.
"Thanks Hae Chan." You beamed.
She chuckled and pinched the top of your cheek.
"You're welcome sweetie."
The door bell rang and Namjoon came out quickly to get it. He grabbed the take out, handing the delivery guy a tip and headed back for the studio. He reached over to lift your chin with a finger,
"You look cute with short hair." He said.
"Thanks Joon." You smiled.
He nodded and headed back into Yoongi's studio. He closed the door behind him and you looked back to Hae Chan and shrugged.
"Wanna help me find something to wear?" You asked.
She chuckled and nodded. You headed into the bedroom and opened up your closet. You weren't sure what you wanted to wear as long as you could hide your arms. Hae Chan pulled out a gold shimmer dress with the neck line hanging low. You shook your head, the dress was cute but it brought too much attention to you and it had no sleeves. She held up a purple one the dress had a slit on the side and tied around your neck, again a cute dress but no sleeves. You shook your head again. She grabbed a navy blue dress but over looked it and went for a red dress you had in your closet.
"Wait! I like that one." You stopped her.
She looked back at you and you grabbed the blue one she disregarded.
"Really, it has long sleeves." She said.
"I know that's why I like it." You said.
She chuckled and you went into your bathroom to change. The neck line was a little low in this one too so that the top of the dress was hugging you just below your collar bone and around your shoulders. The sleeves came all the way down and at the end was a ring that went around your middle finger to hold the sleeves down and cover the back of your hand like a henna design might. You walked out of the bathroom bare foot and in your dress. She smiled,
"Cute, now shoes." She said.
"Okay but just not those," you pointed to a cream colored pair that were high as sky scrapers.
"Yoongi hates when I wear those it makes him feel small."
"You're not that much shorter than him anyway." She laughed.
You laughed with her and you both carried on for another hour or so until your whole outfit was set. You came out of the bedroom to see Yoongi and Namjoon walking out of the studio. He looked to you and smiled with wide eyes. He came over to touch your hair.
"I like it." He smiled.
"Thank you." You smiled back.
He pecked your lips and looked to Namjoon.
"I guess we can get ready and go soon." Yoongi said.
Namjoon nodded and said,
"I'll see you guys there."
"Bye Nam Nam." You waved at him.
He laughed lightly and walked with Hae Chan out of the house. Yoongi excused himself to get dressed and you sat down to draw while you waited for him. It didn't take him long to get dressed but you knew he wasn't going to want to stay long. He still had things to get done and very little sleep.
You guys took a cab to Hoseok's place. The party was already loud and the place was full. Yoongi took your hand in his and he led you inside. Your head bowed down with your sun glasses on while he had his mask on. There were reporters here for his after party. There were caterers walking around with trays of wine and you grabbed a glass to nurse on while you were dragged through the crowded house with Yoongi. They were playing his and Hope's song and you and Yoongi got in the perfect position to see Hoseok dancing. You laughed at how much fun he was having but also because that was your second glass of wine and wine tends do make you giggly. You danced a little with Yoongi until you felt like people were watching you two. Yoongi didn't noticed your discomfort in it and you didn't show it that much. You just picked a moment to stop dancing and he went along with it. You grabbed a third glass of wine and you two had only been there for what was probably forty five minutes.
Yoongi pointed out Namjoon who was now in an all black suit looking like he was a CEO and biting his lip a little. He looked smooth and had girls attention. The place went in an up roar with the third rapper in the room. Yoongi kissed your cheek and said,
He separated from you to take Namjoon somewhere, leaving you feeling alone and trying to find a corner to hide in. You sipped on a third glass of wine and by the time Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok came out to perform together all thoughts about hiding yourself were gone. You were having fun on the top balcony looking over it and watching them perform. Yoongi's voice always sounded passionate and full of energy. You loved hearing the crowd cheer him on and give him so much support. If it wasn't for you being drunk you would've felt sad again. You tried heading down the stairs to get to the lower level but you didn't know how long you had taken to get down the steps because half way up them Yoongi was coming up the steps. He was still rapping on the microphone though and he came over to you and gave a smile while he rapped his verse. He wrapped his arm around your waist to hold you close to him while he continued and then he held the mic out to the crowd for them to the finish his verse. He gave a gummy smile and kissed your cheek making you giggle.
"Sorry I've been working so much." He whispered in your ear.
"That's okay I know how important this is to you." You said.
"I love you Jagi." He whispered in your ear.
"Me too." You giggled.
"How much did you drink, you're laughing a lot."
"I think I've had three glasses of wine already. Don't worry I'm okay."
"No you're drunk, silly."
He kissed you softly and you giggled on his lips. He sighed,
"You're laughing so much I can't kiss you properly."
"No no. Okay, okay I'll stop, I'll stop." You laughed.
He shook his head at you but laughed. He pressed his lips to yours and cupped your cheek. Even with how loud it was in the room, you heard smooching sounds from your lips coming apart. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck.
"My gummy bear is so sweet." You giggled.
"Aish, don't call me a gummy bear in public." He said.
You snuggled up against his chest and he moved slowly leading you down the steps. Namjoon and Hoseok met you at the bottom.
"Hey Y/n!" Hoseok said.
"Hi!" You waved at him happily.
Yoongi kept you close to him.
"The crowd is in love with that cypher Hyung." Namjoon said.
"Yeah they went wild!" Hoseok said waving his hands in the air being as extra as he could.
"Listen guys I'm gonna take her home." Yoongi said.
"What, you guys just got here!" Hoseok pouted.
"We can stay a little longer." You said.
"No, she's drunk. I think we should go home." Yoongi said.
You could see Namjoon eyeing you for a moment but your giggles hadn't stopped. You looked to Yoongi when Namjoon said,
"You guys be careful okay."
"Yeah I hear you." Yoongi said.
Hoseok said goodbye but continued to pout while you headed out. Yoongi hailed a Taxi and when you two got in he leaned over and took to kissing your neck. You let out soft moans as he lowered his lips around your chest. His fingers locked with yours and you two made out in the back of the taxi. His other hand slipped up your short cocktail dress and gripped your thigh. You hummed on his lips and he pulled off of you in enough time to calm himself down. You two continued kissing until you got home. He had you bust through the front door while he was kissing you hard. He was throwing his clothes on the floor while leading you to the bedroom.
"It's been a while since we've done this." He said.
"I know." You said between heated kisses.
He got you in the bedroom and yanked your dress up and above you until it was off. You laid back on the bed while your hands came up to touch his face. He kissed you down so you laid on your back. He grabbed your bare wrist to pin it down but then he let it go and looked at it for a second.
"Y/n? What the hell happened?" He said shocked....
Fire writers fanfiction
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