I did 6 months in jail and got out Dusty got locked up a month before I go out so I had to wait for him to get out I didn't have any where to go. I was on my Facebook and seen my mom's ex boyfriend's brother online (I hadn't seen/spoken to him because he did 5 years in prison so I've known him since I was 8 but I'm not really related to him) Ronnie was my mom's best friend and she went in the truck with him for couple months when she was on the run so I called him thinking he would help me and in the end he was supporting me and my habbit and I was laying down for him. Just because I needed someone to take care of me, I was homeless on the run and addict. He had been out of prison for a little less than a year and I was the first since he'd been out and the dumb ass fell in love and wanted to take be away to Iowa and get in the big truck and take me all over the United States and show be everything I'd probably never get the chance to see but that's after Dusty died but Ronnie took to Dusty that day and I told Dusty everything that happened and what made him mad was I should have gotten a message to him because he would have ran from keisel to be with me but I just waited 7 moths to finally see him again he is the love of my life he is my heart my soul. we spent the night fighting on and off we kissed we love. long story short he was laying down on my lap I could tell he did too much idk what else to do but I knew I needed to keep him close to me I knew I needed to stay right there with him I was starting to get tired so I texted Ronnie and I asked him to come bring me something to wake me up and he wouldn't bring me anything because I wouldn't go outside and get it I was trying to send Curty outside but Ronnie wouldn't do it you could tell I wasn't going to be able to stay awake because the texts made no sense in the end random letter all fucked up butI took a picture of me and Dusty shortly before I fell asleep he was snoring really loud. it was around 11am when I took the picture, it was around 8 at night when I woke up and he's been dead for hours. when I woke up I looked at him and I could tell something was wrong he wasn't movining I went into full-blown panic mode I started trying to flip them over which is really hard and I was screaming his name and I've never hit anybody in the face before so how she slapped him hard as fuck 3 * I can still hear my own voice and that blood curdling scream saying his name and you wouldn't wake up I ran upstairs I got Curty and I said Dusty's dead he told me to leave I called Ronnie and be picked me up I watched the ambulance drive I called my grandma and I told her to call both hospitals and find out what one Dusty went to and when she called back she told me he's not either one because they took him straight to the morgue because he been dead so long so I left home for the first time in my life left everything behind it was terrifying trying to process Dusty on top going through the hardest withdraw I've ever been through I was the biggest fucking cunt to Ronnie I was the most miserable bitch for DAYS I called him every name in the book the worst but he took it willingly because he knew I didn't mean it I was just in a lot of pain. So we lived in the basement of his old boss the guy who taught Ronnie to drive semi truck and it was a long drawn out process of getting the cdl in the time it took him to do that we faught like an old married couple I hated him he did everything for me tho made my food washed my clothes and I was mean and I hated the fact I had to have sex with him I hated it so one time I didn't shower for 10 straight days just so I didn't have to. But he finally gets a job he has to go to Fargo SD for orentation only thing he asked if me was to just stay home don't go to Omaha please and he was only gone for a week and I ended up sneaking Ryan in the basement and we hooked up (Ryan was the guy we started getting dope from) I then took off and was in Omaha with Ryan for 3 days it Fucking broke his heart but I left and moved in with Ryan but Ryan is a whole different story but the simplest way to explain it is he is technically still married with 5 kids playing both sides of the field. Telling me him and Cara were done but yet going home and trying to work his marriage out but he did that to me for 5 month a lot happened in those 5 months but we lost the apartment lived with his friend Don they had a falling out so I was technically homeless he wasn't he has him and Cara house so EVERYTHING I owe was in his truck because we just moved out of dons then one night we get pulled over and long story short now Ryan's in jail he's an asshole with control issues the cops were nice enough to let me take the truck because I would have lost everything I own if they impounded it I was living in the vehicle but Ryan had no control over where I was going and that made him mad so he told be to take it to his grandma's in 2 hours or else he was going to report it stolen yeah he sure loved me takes the only thing I have to survive so now he's gone im all alone with no family (besides Ronnie) I can't go anywhere I'm homeless I can't get a job because im still working on getting my ID I don't have any where to live so I bounce from place to place because I can't stay in one place too long I don't want to overstay my welcome and they might think I have to fuck them because I'm there like I owe my pussy to then. EVERYWHERE I GO (except the guy I want to, where a majority of my stuff is) I have someone thinking about trying to or forcing me to have sex with them. I hope it's not hard to see why I hurt myself and why I'm suicidal more often than not.