Waves crashing back and forth
Bring life to some.
However, with one slip under could bring death to others.
Covering all that it touches
Allowing some to float
And others to be buried under.
A place of great discovery. Treasure.
A place of kept secrets.
Lost at sea....Lost at sea....
I am totally fine that Namjoon wanted a break. I mean yeah that great for me too right. He can work on his fucking music while I find new guys to sleep with. Hoping they can fill this empty space that he left behind. This is perfect...just fucking awesome.
I throw his pillow at the wall and kick his old hoodies. Namjoon had the nerve to inquire for a break through text. As if he didn't have the balls to ask me to my face. Maybe it was my fault. I allowed him to dirft throughout our relationship. He was the type that would love hard them leave.
Fire lovers one would call us. Full of passion but burn out quick. The last time we made love it was like there was a disconnect. I know he was focused on his music latley x was talking about going on tour with some of his rap buddies Yoongi x Hobi.
I called him on the phone.
"Are you serious Kim Namjoon. No one is going to love you like I do! How could you be so immature?!"
"I know I am worthless. You deserve better." Namjoon said.
"What you don't miss me already?” I asked.
"I don't know...I don't know." He said.
I hung up the phone. I was seeing red but feeling so alone. How can he not know?
I destroy our room and then go to the kitchen to down a bunch of ice cream. The days would go quicker with something sweet. Right?
As days turn into months I watch him on social media taking pictures with fans. Namjoon and the crew was very popular and the were growing their fan base. There was sold out shows. Some how fans posted pictures of him signing their boobs. I even heard their single "Kill em with Success" on the radio.
I should be happy for him. This was all he would talk about you. His dreams are coming true. I watched a fan clip of his performing x he said "You were all I ever wanted. But you deserve better..."
Was he talking about me? No maybe his girlfriend before me.
I threw on his hoodie and went for a walk in the dead of the night. I was too chicken to end my own life. I hoped I would get robbed and killed being out this late. All I wanted was my baby back. Yeah we are dysfunctional to some. But shit I wouldn't want it any way.
I run to our favorite spot by the shore of the maple lake off the east side. The waves were soft then loud. The smell of the water was calming. I inhaled thinking of the times we spent.
Suddenly I got a message from Namjoon.
I love you baby girl. All I ever wanted was you, but I know you are too good for me. Your smile, your smell...the way you taste. This song is how I feel....so lost....
After listening to the song I cried. He sounds so lost when all in the end he knows he wants me.
I want you too baby....
Suddenly I feel this warm hug from behind. His scent overpowered me and I went soft.
"I just want to be with you. No more dirfting away..." Namjoon whispered in my ear.
I turned around and he planted a deep kiss on lips. I could feel fire running through my bones x blood. He softly moaned as I broke the kiss to breathe. We kissed again and again...it was like forever.
"All I want is you too baby. Let's move on." I said as he put me on his back.
We dirfted into the shadows and darkness no longer needing rescue.