May I Have This Dance {Shownu~ MX FF}

So I finished Chapter 2.

If you missed Chapter 1 {Check here}


Summary:

Ahnjong has to work two jobs to take care of her siblings. Soon, her life begins to fall into place, and she meets someone who pushes her to fulfill her dreams.

Chapter 2 ❈ Memories ❈

As the night quickly approached, Ahnjong started to get tired. Normally, she would practice dancing, but she was too exhausted. As she put the cleaning supplies up, she lingered enough just to take in her surroundings, the company even. To her, it was ironic how she ended up there. Not how she imagined, but it was okay.


Ahnjong closed up for the night as she took off towards her house. Her and Jinae's conversation still lingered. It was just like her mind to dwell on things. Her mind chose this.


****


"Mom! Look what came in the mail for me!"


Ahnjong was practically bursting at the seams with excitement. Her hard work would be paying off soon. She grasped the acceptance letter in her hand as she hugged it tightly. Just weeks before she had auditioned to be a trainee for one of her favorite companies. Every day for the past few years, Ahnjong practiced dancing after school. She knew that school came first, then her passion. She was in middle school when she applied and auditioned. Already, she had her life plan worked out. With her being accepted as a prospective trainee, there was nowhere to go but up.


"Ahnjong, when are you going to grow up? Your dreams of dancing is so farfetched, do you really think you'll actually be recognized? You have about as much of a shot being an idol, as I do being a queen. Oh and simply put, you're not even that good."


Hearing her own mother cut her down was horrible. She had faith in herself, so why didn't her mom? It was an everyday occurrence. Her mom was hateful, and didn't care about her. That part was loud and clear with Ahnjong being brushed aside like that. She went to her room as she cried. Even if her mom didn't agree with her, she had confidence in herself. That was a driving force within her soul. She wanted to escape her mom's grasp, so she was going to go ahead and go through with the process of becoming a trainee.


Her mom came into her room to ag her on more. It seemed Ahnjong wasn't listening to her.


"While you're at it, your sister is hungry. Feed her."


"But mom," Ahnjongs mood turned sour. "I always feed Jinae."


"You will do as I say. Also, get the trainee idea out of your head. You won't go."


Ahnjong felt instant betrayal. This was not right. It was Ahnjongs life, so she needed to make her own decisions.


"Mom, I respect you as an adult, but this is going to be my big chance. I'm not missing it."


"Do you want to test me? You will be here everyday working around the house and taking care of Jinae. That's final."


Her mom was unreasonable. Ahnjong loved her little sister, but felt as if her mom should have to take care of her. Instead, she spent many nights at the casino and around sketchy people. All she wanted to do was to party, Ahnjong wasn't blind. Ahnjong was left to care for Jinae. Her mom made sure to have Ahn miss her chance. Her job was to watch her little sister. Every night their mom was absent more and more, leaving the responsibility up to her. She was trapped and knew it.


The way Ahnjong was treated, was an indication that their mother just didn't care. She saw her kids as a mistake and burden. Ahnjong also saw that her mom's revelation was correct. She just couldn't leave Jinae, for there would be no one to take care of her if she left. She had to make a decision that went against her heart. After Ahnjong put Jinae to bed, she returned to her room crying.


'One day I'll be following my dreams.'


Years had passed with Ahnjong taking care of her little sister aside from schooling and work. The relationship with her mom got worse by the day. Nothing she did was ever good enough, nor was she appreciated. Ahnjong, despite all of her family related issues, and working all the time, graduated top of her class. She made a great achievement and put money back to begin the steps of training. After she picked Jinae up from school, their mom was pacing the floor. Her little brother was asleep in his crib. Haneul was another child for Ahnjong to care for.


"You need to get two jobs Ahnjong."


"Why yes mom it's always good to see you too."


"I'm tired of you sassing me Ahnjong."


She sent Jinae to another room. There was no need for her to see the fight.


"Yeah well I'm tired of having to pay for your stupid decisions. That doesn't matter though. I just need a little bit more time and you won't have to put up with me."


She walked to her room as she had a pain wrenching feeling in her stomach. She noticed things in her room was out of place. Not how she left them when she left the house.


"She didn't."


She walked over to her desk as she pulled out her money box, from her secret drawer. Slowly opening it, she saw an empty box staring at her. Her mom took every bit of cash she had stashed away to start over. Angry, she stormed in the kitchen.


"What did you do with my money mom?"


"What are you talking about? You had money put away?"


"Don't play coy with me. You took my money that I worked for. I have been saving up for years. Where is it?"


"I needed it so I took it as a payment of you living here, being a freeloader."


"Freeloader? You're the one that is constantly going out with different men a night, while your youngest is sick. Hooking up with strangers at a casino, blowing all of our funds. What have you ever contributed to this house? I have paid the bills since I could start working. Ever since dad left us for your stupid decisions, you have been hateful to me. That money was to help me leave out of this hell."


"What gives you the right to talk to me like that?"


Ahnjong was betrayed once more. Her mother took everything she had. All she wanted was to start getting her life together. Her mom blamed her for her father leaving, but Ahnjong knew exactly why he left. Her mom was like a parasite. It ate her father up with how her mom was. Always with different men, frequenting casinos every night. She abandoned this family emotionally, but he abandoned physically. He moved out of country to start over. She never saw her dad again after that day he said goodbye.


Now, there was a new person brought into this life sentence. One that her mom clearly didn't want. Ahnjong went to Jinae as she just sat on her bed.


"Sissy, what's wrong?" Jinae put her coloring book down as she walked over to Ahnjong.


Ahnjong wrapped her up in a hug as she started crying. "Kiddo, I love you. I promise to always show you that, and never make you feel unwanted. I got us."


Jinae was confused about her older sister, but she reciprocated the hug. "I know Ahn. Oh also my teacher wanted to speak with you."


"About what Jin?"


"It's just over my progress this term. Nothing bad, he actually stated I'm one of his smartest students."


"Do we need to go today?"


"He's not expecting us."


She sat on her bed. Whenever Jinae had things to take care of from school, she went to Ahnjong. Their mother never cared for their academics or even showed up whenever Jinae was involved in anything. Ahnjong was the one who took care of that, and her. When she or the baby was sick, it was Ahnjong that took care of it. She heard the front door close from the other room. Glancing at her watch she saw it was time for her mom to go to the casino.


A thought passed Ahnjong's mind as she got nosey. Opening up her mom's room, she saw paperwork scattered across the bed. Noticing the paperwork, she read more into it. It was a promissory note of loans her mom took out from numerous loansharks. As she read deeper, she noticed where she put everything up for collateral. The house, car, everything in the house. She owed money at the casino too.


"Oh no. We're going to lose everything."


Once again, her dreams were sabotaged. She closed the door behind her as she decided to make food for her and Jinae. The baby would be up soon too, so he had to be fed as well. She got lost in thought as she cooked. Everything was falling apart. Her mom showed what she truly cared about. She never intended to take care of Jinae or Haneul. That was a job left for Ahnjong.


Putting the kids to bed, she glanced at the clock. Their mom never came home. She never noticed that there were bags missing from the closet. As she cleaned up, she knew. She realized that day her dreams were too farfetched to pursue. Her mom made sure of that now. She sabotaged Ahnjong's chance, and left her as the caretaker of her siblings. Now, Ahnjong was going to have to work hard for her mom's stupid decisions.


****


Ahnjong unlocked the door as she saw Jinae up. It wasn't late but seeing her up was different.


"Ahn, I finished my homework. Can you check it for me?"


She was frozen at the door as she hugged Jinae. It was apparent she had been crying.


"I don't want you to ever feel like you or Haneul was a mistake. Do you understand me? I'm so sorry things have turned out the way they are."


"Ahn, what are you talking about? Mom? You're our mom. Let's face it. You've always taken care of me. You were there with every illness, school function, if I ever got in trouble. Likewise with Haneul. We love you. I just want you to follow your dreams. You sacrificed everything to care for us. Even your own happiness. I saw the letter from years ago. The one where you got accepted as a trainee around my age."


Ahnjong pulled back as she remembered that she forgot to put it up. She never intended for anyone to see that. It was a bittersweet memory, but she chose her siblings first.


"I was supposed to start training. Everyday I pushed myself to become one of the greatest. I avoided home because it never felt like home, living with mom. She always told me I wasn't good enough, or it was too farfetched."


"I don't remember dad Ahn. Why did he leave?"


"He got tired of mom being an adulterer spending all of his money on casinos and guys. Honestly, I don't blame him. She blamed me though. I was always the reason why something went wrong."


"If you ever had the chance again to be a dancer, would you take it?"


"I don't know Jin. My heart wants it, but I have to take care of you and Haneul. You both come first. Besides, you're looking at the new assistant manager."


"Do you work tomorrow?"


"Just at the restaurant."


"Okay."


Jinae sat back as Ahn looked over her homework. It didn't feel or sit right with her that Ahnjong wasn't living her dreams, after Ahn told her to always follow hers. She got up as she went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.


"Just bare with this a little longer big sister, I'll help you pursue your dreams. I'll find someone to believe in you."

•┈┈┈••✦✦••┈┈┈•

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