Self-Sabotage Patterns Driven by Fear

Loneliness and the fear of it skews our perceptions on love and what our core values are. It can cause us to date anyone, accept anyone, or even chase after anyone, even when they aren’t right for us. Here are three major ways you may be sabotaging yourself from finding a fulfilling relationship. Dating the Emotionally Unattached ● When you’re lonely, sometimes you can become needy. This isn’t inherently a problem, it only becomes a problem when you become attached to someone who doesn’t need you in return. If your partner isn’t taking the time to nurture you or the relationship, this isn’t a quality you can change. Someone who’s emotionally distant has their own issues to work out on their own before they’re ready to be in a serious, loving relationship. Excusing The Unacceptable ● Allowing your fear of being alone can paint you into a corner, where you’ll accept and even excuse behaviors that you would normally never ever tolerate. If you find yourself rationalizing your partner’s behavior, telling yourself “well, nobody’s perfect,” it’s time to get out. Not only will your relationship be unfulfilling, it can even enhance the insecurities that lead you to the relationship in the first place. Not Letting Go of Ex's ● Moving on after a breakup is hard, but not letting go of that pain will prevent you from committing yourself to someone new. If you have closed a chapter with an ex, keep it closed so you can give yourself fully to the new person in your life. The best way to find a lasting relationship is not when you are in one. The best way to find someone who will truly enrich your life, is to first form a grounded relationship with yourself, your life, and your own self worth.The best time to meet someone is when you no longer feel that "need" for a relationship. It is your job to create an individual life that you like so much that you do not need to be rescued from it.

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