I just came across this really cool, wonderful video called "The Secret to Intimacy, The Science of Love" by Soul Pancake. It's based on the breakdown of love, psychologically, into three categories; passion, intimacy and commitment.
The people at Soul Pancake then ask: "But what comes first and what leads to what? If you can't choose to be intimate with someone, how can you make sure it sticks around?"
To find out, they found real couples and put them in a situation in which the researchers could investigate the secret behind intimacy. Each couple was put on a "talk show," in which one was the host (a position of curiosity) and the other was the guest (a position of vulnerability).
The results are so sweet, so telling, so revealing. I would love to do this with my partner. It's so wonderful to see how those questions and revelations bring out their connections, and the looks they give each other.
Watch it and let me know what struck you most. I especially like the part about spending time together, and about regretting selfishness - and about the fears that come with love and intimacy, like the other person falling out of love with you, or losing them somehow. It's so touching.
My favorite takeaway:
"One of the most important things to know about love is it never stays in the same place. Intimacy and passion rise and fall with the stresses of life. So if you feel a drop now and then, don't freak out. It doesn't mean a relationship's broken. It's just the nature of how love works."