Celebrity News Recipe: Lady Gaga's Dark & Spooky 'Mother Monstertini'

Lady Gaga has been having quite the week. Less than a year after the Daily Beast, among many other celebrity news outlets, ruled her career 'dead', she came back hard and with a serious vengeance. Last Sunday, she had the tongues of every skeptic-turned-fan wagging after her showstopping tribute of "The Sound of Music" - including the musical's original star, the legendary Julie Andrews! And just yesterday, the creators of the smash series "American Horror Story" announced Lady Gaga as their next leading actress after the exit of the show's award-winning star Jessica Lange.

It's a good day to be Gaga. And as a faithful fan, I've decided to dedicate the very first 'Celeb of the Week' recipe to Mother Monster herself. Made with Blavod black vodka and the goth-chic plum color of blackberry brandy, you've got a martini that's as high-fashion meets macabre as Stefani Germanotta herself.

Lady Gaga's Mother Monstertini

Ingredients:

2 1/2 ounces Blavod black vodka

1/2 ounce blackberry brandy

A plump blackberry, for garnish

These sunglasses

Directions:

First, put on the sunglasses. If for whatever reason you don't own a pair of avant-garde and hardly practical sunglasses, just dig through your closet for something else, keeping in mind a 5:1 fashion-to-function ratio.

Baphomet ritual urn

Shake well while counting to 15 seconds. Or don't count and just sing the chorus to "Born That Way". No one cares.

Strain the drink into a well-chilled martini glass. You could also serve this on the rocks in an old-fashioned glass, which is basically like the Tony Bennett of bar accessories.

Finally, garnish your drink with a dark juicy blackberry on the rim. For an extra 'horror story' effect, once you've put the blackberry on, move it in full circle around the brim of the glass to get some gross blackberry guts action going on. (Yeah, I know it sounds gross, but it's also freaking glamorous.)

Enjoy while sitting on a piano bench or on the lap of a guy that sort of looks like Taylor Kinney.

dreaming with my eyes open and taking notes in my sleep.
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