Illuminati's Prodigy Fails

Everyone said that 2015 was going to be a big year. But nothing could have prepared me for the fall of Satan. Didn't that happen, like, a million years ago though? It's not even the end of April and already, the cauldron-of-blood gang, led by Illuminati's precious Jay Z, had their Tidal music streaming service-cum-atm go broke!

Turns out, the tweens wearing Gummy Bear lip gloss who twerk to beats by may-as-well-be-naked, Miley Cyrus, don't have TWENTY BUX to pay for streaming service they either get for free elsewhere or for a much lower cost through sources like Spotify and Pandora. Or maybe Madonna's to blame. Did she forget to mix another batch of Kool-Aid? Did the wicked demons simply tucker out from the drama that is altogether Yeezy?

There has to be a reason. But what is it? Anybody know? Theories? Thoughts? Comments?

I have a twin brother. We are noting alike. I am divorced. Long story. But eager to tie the knot all over again. Love cool stories and Netflix. Chai tea lover.
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