DALLAS, TX - A new beverage has been making serious waves in the health community this week.
Called "Stardust Punch," this new fad drink claims to provide you with the wisdom of the entirety of time and space, for only $6,999!
Group spokesperson Grant Carmichael has this to say about the popular new drink:
"Don't drink Stardust Punch if you intend on living a plain, earthly life.
If you are content sitting at home, watching TV night in and night out,
then this product is not for you. But if you want to elevate your life to
a cosmic level, then you need to act fast. This is a trial batch, to see
how consumers will respond, so that means it's a limited-time
offer! So get your Stardust Punch now!"
over the moon