Inside Out and Being a Sensitive Kid

I cried a lot as a kid. I cried so much that my parents would say that I was "too sensitive" or "dramatic" or "like a girl". When I was in 6th grade, my two best friends both moved away. They had no idea what was coming next.

My two best friends and I were inseparable. We spent our recess time pretending we were AT-AT's (you know the walking-robot-machines from Star Wars?) or talking about our favorite dinosaurs (mine is still the Stegosaurus) or just talking about video games.

I never really felt like I belonged anywhere when I was younger. I had a bowl-cut and I tucked my tee-shirts into my sweatpants. I'm pretty sure I was social poison, so when I found two friends that didn't care how I looked; I immediately stuck to them like glue.

bad

After they had left, I felt like I had no one. I like to tell myself that I was a pretty imaginative kid. Day in and day out at school, I felt like I was entering and leaving a prison everyday. I ate lunch alone, I played in the sand alone, and I sat alone in the classroom.

My teacher started noticing as well. I don't remember this part as accurately but I do remember that I had to keep a journal and write about how I was feeling every single day. Then I had to hand it in to another teacher, meet with them, and talk to them about what was going on.

Again, my memory is kind of fuzzy here. But I can easily recall writing in a black composition notebook every afternoon that said something like "self-esteem/self-control" on it.

It, obviously, got better for me as I got older.

I don't cry now as much as I used to. But I still write in a journal. It doesn't say "Self-Esteem" or "Self-Control" on it anymore, but it still gets the job done.

Inside Out will be in theaters this Friday (June 19th, 2015)

i did all that i could.
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