Girl Vs. Fringe Bangs: An Age-Old Rivalry

I have had fringe bangs since I was 18. It was the summer after graduation, and I figured that with my newfound adulthood, it was time to change my look.

When I was around that age, I was obsessed with French ye-ye chanteuses like Brigitte Bardot and Francoise Hardy. I thought getting bangs would make my hair look modern and artsy while, at the same time, a little retro too.

Instead, it was more like this:

Can somebody tell me where you get the care manual to these?! I mean, damn, fringe bangs are a whole lot of upkeep.

The following are the biggest struggles I've faced with my bangs. (Fellow fringers, feel free to laugh, cry, and laugh-cry with me as I go through these.)

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So first, you get those fateful bangs and immediately regret them.

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Because you can't seem to get them positioned quite right.

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And sometimes they grow so long, you're almost blind.

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So you try to cut them yourself, only to get some hair stuck in your eye.

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And then, of course, you cut them too short, making yourself look like a homely Bettie Page.

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Whenever you get them wet, they get a mind of their own.

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Sometimes you look into the mirror and try wishing them off your face.

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But then you hit that 1-in-100th day your bangs are on fleek and forget that ever happened.

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So you go out and spend the first few hours of your day acting like some undiscovered supermodel.

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That is, until it starts to unexpectedly rain. Then you hate them all over again.

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So there you have it. Those are the basic truths of pretty much all girls who have bangs. Unless you're a superhuman like Zooey Deschanel whose bangs seem to always be 'on'. (In which case, I hate you.)

To all of you who don't have bangs and are currently thinking about getting them, follow your dreams. But, you know, invest in a nice barrel brush too. Because #fringeproblems are real.

"Life is demanding without understanding."
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