"Law and Gospel"Two things I have never put much stake innot everyone is built for "traditional" faith or religion
I've never been much for thinking about the powers above, but I hope something's there.
However; This friend has always been a positive influence in my life. She's one of those people that has an indespensibly pure soul. Those people make life worth living.
Ithinking a lot about humanity and the futureget lostdrift into a tranquil sea of blue skies and humming birdshappy peoplefaithlovepositive things
My cloud of calmness burst when an irate homeless man barged onto the train nearly knocking me and several others in his wake.
no roomthe car was overcrowded and completely full.
Everyone was sweating, disgusting, and already irritated.
He knocked into me firstpeople parted for him like the red seasmell of him --rottingHe shovedhard against another ladyorange juice that spilled all over herchaos brewingstormrumbling in the next town overhands shaking and balling up into two fists
She went postal
"What the hell is your problem man? You don't touch me!"
the homeless man raised hisbloody fistfresh off of some other subway skirmishsnap a dog's neck just for funEyes cold and completely drained of all life, love and faith.
No tranquility hereempty shellzombiewreaking of day old Whiskeythirsted for revenge
"Bitchhh Bitchhhh, I'ma knock you out...I'ma kill you, everyone on this fucker!"
The whole train erupted. A speeding car full of adults on their way to work, may die at any moment, at the hand of a lunatic speeding at 55 miles an hour under Brooklyn New York.
5 or 6 men threw themselves in front of the woman, who was in full on screaming banschee mode, all flailing and yelling obscenities just like the homeless man.
When your life is threatened, some pretty insane shit can happen.
thoughts of faith and humanity, God and the Devil crept back into my mindThe sheer murkiness of life is often too hard to navigate, no amount of self-propulsion can save us against what we can't control."
I can't control this homeless guywhat if this is my last day on earth? What was my last meal even? I don't get to say goodbye?
panic strickencovering large, heavy breathhoping people couldn't see my red face and dodging eyesall potential victimshostile showdown.
voice shaking"This is why I have to leave the city. People are insane."
This is the kind of shit you see on Law and Order SVU before a body is found.
thought about my family and everything else on this green earth that I had taken for granted. I've been an asshole.
I was just about to give up all hope, when a man stepped in front of the woman and said, "Come on, hurt me. Don't hurt these people."
He seemed like a ramshackle hero that you'd see on the news one night for local acts of valor.
Humanity has a funny way of showing itself.a complete stranger might put his life on the line for you, defending you against a homeless lunatic with a knife or gun or whatever.
[Press Play before continuing]
the train arrived at Barclays Centerollective sigh of relief.I just kept on walking.
opened the book to a random spot,thinking about calling my mom and that friend who gave me the damn book in the first place:
"My life is a witness to vulgar grace --a grace that amazes as it offends."
Maybe this was all an act of vulgar grace, but the relief comes knowing that I get to live another day, and not everything in life is guaranteed.
Life has a funny way of dropping you on your head, only to pick you up and say, "there there little buddy, keep moving."